Last Symphony AU: A Christmas Concert
by Slasher71
Summary: Another time, another world. A place where events didn't go quite the same, a world where Shadows and Personas do not exist. Yet fate entangles us together. Come read a story of Kayane and Rise in a world where their meeting and future go in a different direction. An alternate world of my Last Symphony Story that revolves around a Christmas Concert. 4 Parts in total.
1. Part 1

**Author's Note: This Story has been something I couldn't help but write. Writing Fan Fiction is interesting because it allows me to play with the rules of a world I don't have a chance to. The World of Persona has always been interesting just because of the concept. That our emotional and mental states could be a source of power. The power of Persona, and the way it manifests is different for every game. The first two the awakening itself was less important than when they receive their Ultimate Persona. More true for Persona 2 in both Innocent Sin and Eternal Punishment. Persona 3 was linked heavily to death, as was their awakening to their Ultimate Persona, when they resolved to face death head on. Persona 4 was all about identity, and being proud of who you are, and the confidence to move forward, regardless of what others say. Persona 5 is somewhat in the same vein, discarding what people expect you to be and being true to who you really are. Giving yourself the power to fight against those expectations and carve your own path.**

 **Well, that is my interpretation of it, and I'm sure the series hits differently for lots of people. So when I created Last Symphony, I wanted to hit harder subjects that didn't get addressed in Persona 4. Abuse, depression, and someone that may not want the help that the Persona 4 crew always went out of their way to give. How hard would it be for them if someone was so much harder to save? Ikakure Kayane was the culmination of that, and his past a rough one to write. Just when he believes he is finally moving forward, he takes a few steps back. Depression just doesn't go away. There is no simple way to handle it.**

 **However this story is a bit different. Here there are no Personas. No other worldly power at their disposal. No way to directly face their Shadows and be forced to overcome them. This story exists because I wanted to know... Could Kujikawa Rise still be able to Ikakure Kayane in a place where Persona, the TV world and all of that didn't exist?**

 **I would somewhat recommend reading the first ten chapters of my full story Last Symphony to fully know what changes in this story, but I'm also hoping that this one can stand on its own. I hope you enjoy it! And thanks for taking the time to read! Also it was rather hastily made so likely a few grammar mistakes and mistaken words here or there. Also this is just Part 1 of 4 parts and will be coming up the next three days, with the last part coming out Christmas Day! So look forward to it!**

* * *

 **Another time, another world. A place where events didn't go quite the same, a world where Shadows and Persona does not exist. Yet fate entangles us together, one way or another.**

 _December 12th, 2011 / Early Morning  
_ _Yasogami High School_

Mondays were a loathsome day. It marked the beginning of yet another week of my pointless existence. Fortunately I would only have to deal with High School for a few more months. After that I could easily disappear from the eyes of society, and no longer be a burden to my Mother. I walked up to the school, only being somewhat aware of my surroundings as I slipped by a group of first years and to my shoe locker. I pushed back a strand of my black hair from my eyes. My hair had probably gotten too long now. It was still about medium length but I should probably get it cut. It's really annoying when my bangs keep getting in the way.

"Hey Risette just showed up on campus," a couple of guys were talking nearby. Of course I knew that name, she was an Idol that had been number one for a while, until she up and quit. Well I hadn't paid too much attention to that whole story. I really enjoyed her music but I'm sure being an Idol was tiring work. I know I wouldn't be able to handle anything like that.

Much to my Mother's disappointment. My Mother was a well respected producer in the industry, so I actually had all of Rise's music for a few reasons. Including tracks that were never released. It's weird that for the last few months she went to the school but I had never really seen her. I guess I had just missed my chances. She had been in the pageant during the culture festival. I hadn't really stuck around for the culture festival. I had done a little bit as I was required, but third years like myself are exempt of having to do anything for the festival. Well we had exams and futures to worry about.

The future...just what was there to even do beyond school?

"Dude, did you hear? I heard Risette is going to make a return to the Idol industry next spring," another guy spoke. They were way too loud in the morning and who even cares about those kinds of rumors. Risette was a singer, she would have returned in some capacity eventually. And if I remember correctly she only said she was taking a break.

"Really? Man, does that mean she is going to leave school again? Makes you wonder why she took a break in this first place. Kind of a waste if you ask me. Now that Kanamin Kitchen group has essentially become the most popular group, and Kanami has become the top Idol," their conversation was starting to get on my nerves.

I quickly pulled out my shoes and switched them, placing the shoes I had on in my locker before placing the others on my feet. I moved past the noisy crowds and made my way up to the third floor where my classroom was. The stairs weren't hard to navigate, but students were getting in the way and causing me to have to zigzag around them. I finally made my way passed a group of students and onto the second floor. Even more people standing around and...wait the staircase was blocked.

"What is this? How are we supposed to get to class if the stairs are closed off," it was one of my classmates. I think her name was Ichide? Yeah, that seemed right. Ichide Tsubasa was her full name. And the one next to her was someone who was always close to her. Her name was Mitsuragi Saya. It was hard to not remember their names when I had been in the same class as them since I arrived in Inaba years ago. But their names and appearances was about all I remembered of them.

"Um, I saw Sofue-sensei going up. Maybe she is going to find out how long it will be?" Saya told her friend.

I moved to the side of the hall, trying to get a bit of room from the mass of people. Today seemed like it was going to be a pain. I leaned up against the wall as the roar of the crowd seemed to get a bit louder. I sighed and pulled my earphones out from the inside pocket of my jacket and put them in my ears. I reached into my pocket and switched the mp3 player I had on. The volume was just loud enough for me to hear. I closed my eyes so that maybe I could retreat to some form of solitude despite the mass of students around me.

The song switched. I guess it was somewhat appropriate considering the conversation I heard earlier. This song was easily my favorite. If there was anything that had made me almost give a damn about my life it had been when I first heard this song. That was why I played the piano and wrote songs when I was at home. I didn't really have a desire for anyone to hear it...it was just a comforting activity in a mess of things that I got no pleasure from.

"So what really happened up there?"

I felt a twinge of irritation as it seemed like my music wasn't going to be enough to completely drown out the ones around me. So I turned up the volume a bit.

"I heard it got really cold last night and part of the pipes froze. So one of the water lines broke in the third floor bathroom. Must be a real mess up there, so likely the third years are going to be waiting a while," it was another voice. This group of individuals had moved rather close to me. I kept my eyes closed. Hopefully if I just ignore them they'll go away.

"Where'd ya hear that?" a notably younger yet rough voice spoke.

"Well the Music Club President told me about it. Apparently he was here early when it happened. He was practicing in his classroom when the pipe bursted," another guy spoke up.

The Music Club President was in my class, a third year by the name Watanabe Ichiro. Well, he was supposed to hand it over to a 2nd year, but he was obstinate and was refusing to do so until after his Christmas concert he wanted to pull off. Useless in my opinion. Wasn't really anyone of significant talent to pull off a concert like he had been so talkative about in class. Not unless he did some major convincing of the known talent around the school. Namely Kujikawa Rise, also known as Risette. The now retired Idol that went to our school, and consequently whose music I was currently listening to.

"Oh right, Watanabe-senpai, right? He even asked me to sing at the concert. I told him I would think about it, but I don't really know what I should say. It's the 17th already so cramming rehearsals up to the performance probably wouldn't be that fun," that voice sounded familiar. And why wouldn't it? I was listening to her sing at this exact moment. The last thing I need to do was pay attention to her so I turned my music up a bit more. But her voice still managed to make it through to my ears. "I mean if we had a bit more time...I...huh?"

"Something wrong, Kujikawa?" another voice asked. I was stubbornly trying to turn away and kept my eyes closed but I had a bad feeling about it.

"Senpai, what are you listening to?" this was directed solely at me. I knew because her voice was right in front of me. I did my best not to move. I wanted to ignore her but I unintentionally acknowledged that I heard her by moving my head. My eyes were still closed though.

"Hey, Rise-chan, aren't you getting too close to him?" a girl calls out.

"Senpai," Rise spoke this time in a more enticing manner, making it hard for me to ignore her. I don't know if it was the tone of her voice but it made me react. Not exactly in the greatest of ways.

I tensed up and slowly opened my eyes, finding myself looking into the eyes of Risette, the idol. An individual that had been around Inaba for a while now. A small no name town like this was hardly a place for a star like her and even less so, had no reason to ever talk to me. She had friends, people that cared about her. She didn't need the attention or words from an older and equally worthless individual like me. I had no friends, just a loser that enjoyed to listen to music. It should hardly matter that my songs of choice happen to be sung by this stunningly beautiful young woman in front of me.

"Why would you want to know what I listen to?" I could feel my hands shaking from their place in my pocket and I couldn't hold her gaze for long before I looked away from her. My words had come out harsher than I intended, but the meaning was the same. I didn't matter, she had no reason to talk to me and I didn't want her to.

"It's 'Star Bright' isn't it?" She asked. I had likely turned my music up far louder than I had intended so I quickly turned my music off.

"It is. Are we done now?" I glare at her in a hope to get her to move. My voice sharp and an edge that made it clear that I didn't want to talk to her.

"How? How do you have that song?" She boldly faces my glare head on and challenged it with her own. I look away once more. How am I supposed to deal with those soft brown eyes that made me feel like she actually wanted to talk to me. Her curiosity is something that does make sense. But I was being obstinate and more than that, my anxiety was getting the best of me and I really wanted to get away from her. My heart was pumping faster, and not because she was a gorgeous young woman that I wish I could stare at and admire for hours on end… No, my heart was pumping faster because I wanted to run away, and the closer she got the more it felt like I was suffocating.

"Whoa, Kujikawa! What's wrong?" An individual with a blue hat pulled her away from me.

I was able to breath again, so I took a moment to get a deep breath to calm myself. Having someone so close and look so intently at me had shaken me up horribly. It had been so long since I had an anxiety attack. But now I was dangerously close to having a break down. Likely because it been so long since anyone had given me such attention or been so persistent in speaking to me.

And it seemed that Risette wasn't going to let up.

"That song was my audition track. It was never released to the public, and only a handful of people even know that song exists. I have to know, Senpai. How do you have that?" She asked me as she stepped towards me once more. My heart had only been given a brief reprieve before it started to pump faster than before. Before I could answer she stepped forward and this time began to reach out towards me with her hand.

I reacted reflexively and attempted to get away. But I was already against the wall, there wasn't anywhere to go. So I stumbled towards my right but my footing slipped. I began to fall backwards. The reason being, there was nothing there. Had I been that close to the stairs? My eyes widened as I realized quickly what was happening. I had lost track of where I had been. Now, I was falling down the stairs.

"Senpai!" Rise called out to me but it was a pointless gesture at this point.

Anxiety gripped my heart like a harsh grip on a water balloon, with it close to bursting. None of that mattered, as the next moment my head slammed against either part of the stairs or the ground but I didn't know as my world was consumed by darkness.

* * *

 _December 12th, 2011 / Morning  
_ _Infirmary_

 ** _RISE'S POINT OF VIEW_**

What have I done? How could I have been so selfish? It was all my fault. All I could do is replay what had happened over and over in my head...

 _"Rise, get a hold of yourself!" Shirogane Naoto moved passed me. All I could do was stand there and look at my Senpai that had fallen down the stairs. It's all my fault._

 _"Forget that for now," Narukami Yu was rushing down the stairs to where the older student had landed. The unspoken leader of our group of friends began to make rapid decisions and telling the others what to do. "Yosuke, go to the staff room and get a teacher. Chie-san, head to the Infirmary and let the school nurse know. Yukiko, give me a hand."_

 _"On it, partner," Hanamura Yosuke ran off with Satonaka Chie not too far behind him. I stood at the top of the stairs, not moving._

 _This is my fault. He's hurt because of me._

 _"Be careful with his head," Yukiko put her arms out and helped Yu move the older student to a more comfortable position. "Do you think he'll be alright?"_

 _"It seemed to me he was having some sort of reaction," Naoto spoke softly from next to me. I think she might have put a hand on my shoulder, but it didn't register to me. "I don't know why but there is something else wrong here."_

Something else? No, it was because I was so pushy and got too close to him. It caught him off guard and because of that... he fell. This was my fault. No amount of posturing or excuses would change that I was the cause of his fall. Nothing.

I shouldn't be here, but I couldn't be anywhere else. I had to know he was okay. I needed to make it up to him somehow. I had no idea where to even begin. He was resting in the infirmary bed. Why hadn't medics shown up yet? Did it really take this long for them to get here because we were outside the city? The local doctor had been called and should be here soon. Or so I was told.

When we had moved him here I had helped slip off his jacket and then watched as the school nurse bandaged him with the help of Narukami Yu and Amagi Yukiko assisting her. All I could do was watch. The nurse had initially checked him out and said that it likely looked a lot worse than it had actually been. He most definitely had a concussion, and all his vitals seemed good, but it was concerning that he had been unconscious for so long. It wasn't a good sign. I knew that much.

I was clutching onto his jacket as I was sitting next to the infirmary bed. Something fell to the ground when I had shifted the jacket. I looked to the ground and noticed that his mp3 player had dropped out of the jacket pocket. I picked it up just as a reaction. It was an older model, one that displayed clearly just how used it was. Minor scratches here and there and decals worn and almost ineligible to read. I couldn't stop myself and looked at his track library stored on the device. My eyes widened as I scrolled through.

My albums...all of them were here. Not only that, but songs from soundtracks, movies and animes I had sang for. Then I saw not just Star Bright, a song that was my original audition track but many more tracks that he shouldn't possibly have. Demo tracks...and songs that were never released, mostly because they were songs often cut due to not fitting with the rest of the songs on an album. The songs were often written by well known songwriters but honestly I wanted to do something that used more my own voice. It is part of the reason the song Star Bright meant alot to me. A part of its lyrics were created by me. Not all of it, but the chorus was mostly what I had written. Although it was all changed slightly because I had no experience in writing songs...or performing at the time. It didn't change that Star Bright had a special place in my heart.

So... was he connected to the music industry? He had to be right? He couldn't be just a crazed fan of mine. The facts didn't lend itself to that kind of conclusion. I imagine our first meeting would have gone a lot differently if he had been. Plus, I'm positive he would have sought me out when I had arrived in Inaba. But, Naoto pointed out that he had some sort of reaction before he fell. Maybe he was a fan... but couldn't get close due to some medical thing? Anxiety or something similar to it? I guess only speaking to him would get me any real answers.

His name, according to the nurse, is Ikakure Kayane. A third year at our school that was only about three months away from graduation. I never interacted with any third years, other than the occasional senior that would ask for an autograph or something similar to that. It wasn't like I had much reason to do so before. Even with what had happened today, it had all happened by chance.

For now he looked peaceful resting on the infirmary bed. I took a moment to carefully observe him. He had black hair that was medium in length but somewhat messy in appearance. Seemed like his hair had a mind of its own. It must be hell to deal with in the mornings. That was more based on my memory as his head was bandaged covering most of his hair now. He also seemed to have some minor cuts on his head. There had initially been a good amount of blood, but the nurse assured me it only looked to be bad as head injuries tend to have a lot of blood. I still tried not to think about that image too much, since he was now cleaned up.

There was another aspect of him though that had left an impression on me. His eyes. They were a sparkling blue. Blue eyes were rare in Japanese people. Especially since it often indicated that there was a foreigner in your family line. That isn't what left an impression on me. No it was the fact that his blue eyes looked as if they were crystal. They were vivid and stood out like a lone light in the darkest night. A harsh blue in the middle of a dark winter night. As if his eyes contained the bite and chill of a winter storm. The coldness of his eyes matched his expression in our brief exchange before he had fallen. The message his eyes gave were very clear. _Get Away From Me._ I had stubbornly pressed on, wanting to know how he had my audition song. And because, something in my heart compelled me to him. There was just no way I could just let him go.

It had been such an unfamiliar feeling for me to have. When had I ever been so compelled or pulled to an individual? Thinking of all I had done in my life, I could make no comparisons. But after what had happened… would I ever be allowed to get close to him? Especially when he already made it clear he wanted me to stay away...

The door to the Infirmary opened, tearing me away from my thoughts. An older woman stepped in and softly closed the door behind her. I looked up at her for a moment as I felt a sense of familiarity to her. But I couldn't place exactly where I had seen her.

"Oh, this is a surprise. I didn't expect to see _you_ doting over my son," she smiled as she approached the other side of the bed and looked down at Kayane. I'm not surprised she knew me, a lot of people did.

"It's my fault. I didn't realize just how...he disliked people approaching him," I looked to the ground, feeling I needed to humble myself more to his Mother. And more than that, I still felt a heavy guilt for what had happened to the Senior that was laying down on the infirmary bed.

"Don't blame yourself, Rise-chan," his Mother said in a soothing tone. I was surprised when she didn't call me Risette as most adults did. The next question threw me off even more than the use of my name, "Do you remember who I am?"

"Who you are?" I repeated as I looked up to her. Her outfit was essentially business casual in appearance. A businesswoman? Had I known her in the past through the agency? The way she had phrased the question indicated that I did have some sort of past dealing with her. Ultimately I shook my head, "I'm sorry, I can't say that I do."

"I would be surprised if you did. It was an unfair question," the woman chuckled. "I'm Tsukio Nanase. I'm Kay-chan's adopted Mother."

The name immediately rang bells in my head. "Tsukio Nanase? No way! It's because of you and your review that I even got a chance to become an Idol! I didn't know you lived in Inaba." That explained how Ikakure Kayane had the song Star Bright. It explained how he had _every_ song that he should not be able to obtain in a normal way. I clamped my hands over my mouth, "Sorry. I didn't mean to be so loud."

If he was the adopted son of Tsukio Nanase then… of all things he could be listening to… Why would he listen to my music? This single thought sobered me as my eyes moved to the third year unconscious on the bed. He had to have a massive amount of selection of music… so...Why?

Nanase who didn't notice my current shift in thoughts seemed amused by my initial reaction to who she was. "Well, you're half right. Your producers wanted another opinion before they committed to you, so they commissioned me to give my opinion. Honestly, when I agreed to do contract work for them I didn't think they would push decisions like that to me. However, the majority of what is in that review I supplied wasn't written by me. I originally intended to write it all myself, of course. But to get another opinion I let Kay-chan listen." Nanase reached down and cupped her son's cheek. Her eyes growing softer.

Huh? What was she saying?

"Your voice alone broke through to him in a way that years of therapy never had. For the first time I saw more emotion in his eyes than I had for years. I told him to write everything he felt and thought when he heard you sing and give it to me. Well, I may have edited and added more to make it an official review," Nanase looked back to me and held a soft smile on her face. My mind was busy processing what she had just said.

"Ikakure-senpai wrote it?" I was having a hard time registering the thought, as a result my words came out more as a whisper. It was so much more than I could have imagined. He didn't just have my music as some sort of die hard fan or because of his adopted Mother being a part of the music industry. He had known me before the rest of the world. One of the first people to ever hear me sing before I was known as Risette. _He_ was the reason I was an idol. Did… my music mean something more to him than others? I was still left with another question.

Why hadn't he sought me out if he liked my music? There had to be a reason right? Something beyond just a medical reason… That had to be it. I had understood absolutely nothing about Ikakure Kayane. And what had I done?

"I was selfish," I spoke just loud enough for Nanase to hear me. "I thought that he had gotten my song, Star Bright, by some sort of leak or something. I didn't even realize how he was reacting to my proximity to him. I treated him just like I did everyone else. I was surprised how he acted. All I could do is stand there when he had fell."

"Don't blame yourself for what happened. And even if Kay-chan may not say it, he wouldn't blame you for what happened either. He has his reasons. Saying he had a rough childhood would be putting it lightly," she spoke softly. Nanase's eyes were distant and I could tell held a sadness in them. One that I could scarcely begin to relate or understand. Then she shook off that expression and smiled softly turning to me, "Now, Rise-chan, I must ask you to head to your class. Even after he wakes up, he won't be in any condition to talk to. I'm afraid he would likely tell you to leave anyway. Plus the doctor should be arriving any minute to give a full exam."

She was probably right. However, something in my head made me want to stubbornly stay at his side. I unconsciously clutched his school jacket close to myself, "I want to apologize to him."

Nanase looked at me, as if searching my expression for an answer to an unasked question, "Is that right? Well, if you're determined then why don't you come over for dinner tonight?" the question she posed made my thoughts halt.

"Dinner? Are you sure?" I had no idea what to say. At the very least I should be able to apologize to him and have time to maybe have a real talk with him. But everything Nanase had said had only left me with more questions about Ikakure Kayane.

"Positive," Nanase nodded and then moved around the infirmary bed to me as she pulled out her cell phone, "Let me get your contact information and I'll send you the address for you to come to. It'll be a six o'clock, does that work for you?"

I got to my feet as I pulled out my phone and we exchanged contact information. I was still clutching on to Kayane's school jacket. "I'll be there at six then," I said as I relinquished his jacket to her.

"Great, it would be a nice change to have a guest over for dinner," Nanase smiled as she took his jacket and then moved back to Kayane's side again. "This might be a selfish request on my part. But if you could have a greater effect on him than your song then...maybe..." Her voice quieted down to nothing.

What did she mean by that? Just who was Ikakure Kayane? I stepped away, looking at the scene of a Mother overlooking her Son. And as I left the room I had completely forgotten that tucked inside my hand was his MP3 player, and filled with my own music.

* * *

 _December 12th, 2011 / Lunch Time  
_ _Yasogami High Rooftop_

 ** _RISE'S POINT OF VIEW_**

"His Mom invited me over for dinner tonight," I sat down next to Naoto on the roof. My emotions were all over the place at this point. "I mean, what am I supposed to do? All this time I thought I owed my big break to Tsukio Nanase, not her adopted son. And I don't think Ikakure-senpai even wants to see me, much less talk to me or sit down at the same table with me."

I was going in circles but I had also realized during class that I had his MP3 player. No matter what I did my thoughts were consumed by images of Ikakure Kayane. Mostly him falling down the stairs and the immense guilt I still felt from the morning's incident.

"You worry too much. I mean he was listening to your music he shouldn't even have right? What fan wouldn't want to sit down and have dinner with the singer they like?" Yosuke waved it off like it was no big deal, but was quickly elbowed by Chie who was next to him. "Ow! What's the big idea?!"

"You idiot," Chie glared at him. I appreciated the gesture.

"You're missing the facts here, Yosuke-senpai. He's had plenty of chances to seek her out and talk to her since she came to Inaba. But he never did. She was on the news and there was quite a stir here in town when it happened. There is no way he wasn't aware of her presence in Inaba, and yet in that time he has never sought her out in any way. Judging by what happened this morning... I would say he suffers from a form of social anxiety," Naoto spoke with some speculation. "You said his name was Ikakure Kayane?"

I nodded, "Yeah. I guess he retained his own family name even though he was adopted by Tsukio-san." That seemed to be a mystery in itself. There was too much I didn't know about him. And I wanted to know.

"I feel like I have heard his name before. I certainly remember the name Tsukio Nanase," Naoto seemed thoughtful. Well, she was a detective. I guess it made sense she would be curious.

"Well that aside, I'm surprised you are still in town, Naoto-chan. Didn't you get called into Tokyo for a case?" I decided to change the subject. I didn't need to burden them over my own problems. I shouldn't just gossip about Ikakure Kayane behind his back. Especially when I feel like my interactions with him wouldn't amount to more than just today. Regardless of my own feelings on the matter.

"Ah, I was requested but I declined due to a request from Detective Dojima. He wanted to double check my own observations on the case about Mitsuo Kubo," Naoto said this and the others and myself all stiffened at the mention of the name.

"So...was it really suicide?" Kanji asked without much tact.

Naoto nodded, "After investigating his household there was too much evidence to ignore. While it was suicide, his parents are being brought up on charges of child negligence and a few other things as well. He was a teenager around our age but the more we dug, the more we realized that his upbringing was squarely the reason. In addition, his home room teacher at his school is also being investigated for not reporting him to proper channels for antisocial behavior and other signs he was likely exhibiting. It's hard to blame any one person for something like this. But the exposure to his suicide and consequent investigation into his motivations for suicide has caused an uproar. That's why I was asked to focus on this investigation over the one in the city."

"I wish I made the connection...maybe I could have done something to help him," Yukiko hung her head. This always happened when the topic came to Mitsuo.

"You were already dating Yu-kun at the time when he approached you," Chie put a hand on Yukiko's shoulder. "How could any of us know? And it's hard to know there was anything wrong with him when he didn't go to our school. He did in middle school, which I guess is how he knew Yukiko."

"It's hard to know one way or the other if he could have been helped. Even if you had gone out with him when he asked, you don't know what might have happened. Even with how you are, Yukiko. There isn't any way we could know what effect we could have had," Yu put his arm around Yukiko's waist.

"You saved me, Yu. I was just thinking that even if it was a small possibility, it would be better than him dying, right?" Yukiko spoke softly.

"I don't get it, what could drive someone to commit suicide?" Kanji shook his head.

"More reasons than you can imagine," Naoto shook her head. "However, sometimes the deepest scars a person has is not something you can see. Even with all the efforts done to try and help people and prevent them from committing suicide, it doesn't mean it always works. Often times a combination of psychological trauma and real life situations can pile up more and more until it pushes your emotions to the brink. And with no one to support you, it can take you to an even darker place where death seems like more than just a valid option. I shouldn't delve too deep into the specifics of the trial. In any case, I'll be in town for the foreseeable future."

"It must be hard, working on something like that," I give her a smile trying to ease the tension I might have unknowingly caused.

"I try not to focus on it. As disheartening as it is, the truth deserves to be known, so that maybe in some way it will prevent the same from happening to someone else in the future," Naoto shook her head. "Which is also why you should be careful, Rise-san. If you are just going to apologize to Ikakure-senpai then that is one thing. But if you delve deeper and try to figure out why he reacted the way he did, you may find out something that could be hard to accept." The sudden shift in attention back to my original subject caught me off guard.

The bell rang for lunch to end. I looked at my lap for a moment as Naoto's words settled in my mind. Did I want to know more about Ikakure Kayane? I owed him an apology for sure...but anything more than that and I could just be overstepping my bounds. It was my mistake that he got hurt...would it really be so bad to get to know him?

Naoto's words made sense. I should be careful. However, there was a compulsion in me that I could feel there. I wanted to know him. Ikakure Kayane… he was the one responsible for my Idol career taking off. How could I not want to know more about him? But what would I find? There was no way to tell how me crossing paths with Kayane would change my life.

* * *

 _December 12th, 2011 / After School_

 _Kayane's House_

"You want to run that by me again?" I raised an eyebrow after Mom informed me of the special guest we would be having. Not that I had room to argue the point now but I didn't have to be happy with it.

"You aren't hard of hearing, Kay-chan. Rise-chan will be here in about an hour and a half. I already picked up the ingredients so we're going to have curry," My Mom declared proudly. "And don't worry I will be making a batch that is spicy for you, okay?"

I rubbed my head for a moment and sighed. I had finally been able to remove the bandage from my head as the cut had finally closed up. Head injuries were always tricky. Cuts on the head tend to bleed more so it could be deceptive on how bad an injury really was. And just to be sure my Mother had taken me to the hospital after the local doctor had checked on me in the school infirmary. To my surprise, everything apparently looked okay. A slight concussion and a bruise on my leg was about the worst of it. The cut on my head had just made the whole situation seem a lot worse. The doctor had been concerned with the fact that I had stayed unconscious for so long, which was not really normal, and usually a sign of having a more severe concussion. That had not been the case though. The reason I had been unconscious so long was due to a lack of sleep and anxiety so I suppose my body took the opportunity to take a longer rest than I had been giving it.

This whole ordeal was nothing in the grand scheme of things. I had dealt with a lot worse injuries. I decided there was no point to argue or give my hesitance to spend any amount of time with the once Idol, Risette. I left my Mom alone in the kitchen while I went down the hall and into the studio.

This place was here so Mom could do work from home. The studio was an enclosed recording room. Not a small one either. About the size of a band room you would find in any high school. It had all the specifications you would expect for a professional recording studio. The walls were lined with sound canceling material, but the room was designed with acoustic quality in mind for the best sound quality you could hope to get in such a space. I wasn't sure how it improved it other than for recording purposes. I hadn't really thought to look up how it all worked. This room was probably the most used room in the house.

Besides the studio we had a family room, kitchen, Mom's room, then my room and then a couple of guest bedrooms next to mine. It was a sizable house that was too big for just us, but Mom simply took any house she could get at the time we had moved. Now, I'm not sure I could imagine not living in a place as spacious as this one.

We had moved here shortly after Mom had full custody over me. That was also after the pair of trials, one on my Uncle and the other for her ex-husband. I'm not sure exactly all she had to deal with in that time period of our lives. But I do know she fought hard to get custody of me and then we left the city for the countryside as soon as we were able. The intention was to leave unwanted memories behind us. That was Mom's intention at any rate. But I never forgot what happened. And I never would.

Why has today turned out this way? Mondays were bad enough to begin with. Now I got myself somehow tangled up with an idol. And not just any Idol, but Kujikawa Rise. I couldn't really blame her for wanting to know how I got her music. I would have been curious too if it had been my own. Especially since they were tracks that were never released. She was the one behind the song Star Bright. It was my favorite song. I always hated how that song had never been released. Mom had explained that it hadn't fit the rest of the album or the debut they wanted to make with her. I couldn't really argue that point. Mom knew the Idol industry in ways I didn't after all.

I never really had thought about the person behind the music. The voice that had reached out to me. Not too much anyway. It wasn't like I had ever equated Risette to her music. When I heard the song 'Star Bright' for her audition, it was under her full name, Kujikawa Rise. It wasn't until she made her debut that she became known as Risette. It was a confusing and seemed somewhat demeaning as a business practice. The idol business often meant selling the Idol as if they were a commodity. Everything from their public appearances, their song selection, the dances... everything was controlled. Its why I didn't pay attention to it. Their appearances as models and acting jobs were all to sell more merchandise and music. I only cared for one thing. The music.

What had happened to Kujikawa's music anyway? I felt I knew why she had taken a break just based on her music. It seemed simple to me. She didn't enjoy it anymore. Her voice from her songs told me everything I needed to know. Her first CD was great, even though it didn't include Star Bright in it. I could understand the decision as it didn't really fit the the of the rest of the tracks on the CD. I had hoped that Star Bright would make one of her future projects, but that never happened. I did notice her song change slightly the more she did. It was subtle at first, but eventually I couldn't help but notice.

Her latest album was just...missing something. I don't know why I felt that way, but it was almost like something was missing from her voice. It was like she no longer wanted to sing. At the beginning of her career you could hear her enthusiasm and emotion. She believed in the words she was singing...but now… Now it was different. Her newest album had no passion, no energy, no vibrancy like she had in the past. It wasn't a sudden shift either, it was something that happened over the course of her career. It was frustrating to hear the decline of her passion. Then again, what did I know? Most music critics claimed that Risette's 2nd CD was her best one. I don't believe they would think that way if Star Bright had actually been released with her first album.

Perhaps it was me just being biased because of how much Star Bright had affected me personally. That was likely the truth of it.

I moved into the studio and sat in front of the piano. I hadn't played recently. I had been preparing for exams and had little time to do much else. At the moment, I couldn't exactly study with my mind currently occupied with a bunch of nonsense. I guess falling down those stairs was an excuse to allow myself to play for a bit.

I pulled the cover off the piano as it was a relatively new piano. Mom had bought it recently due to her giving our old one away. To be accurate, Mom donated it to Yasogami High School after she got irritated on how bad the piano was at school. It was one of the times she had visited the school. I don't even remember why she had been there. Either way, our old piano was at Yasogami High and we now had a brand new one. It had been a real pain to get it tuned. Honestly, the idiot we bought it from had zero clue how to properly tune a piano. I had to re-tune the thing myself after he was gone.

I ran my fingers over the cool keys of the piano as I often did before I started. I closed my eyes and then played the first note. I let the sound stand for a moment. Then I began to play a slow and methodical piece.

Just what was wrong with me today? I took a deep breath and continued to play the piano. This piece used the entire range of the piano. It was one I used to warm me up so I would be able to perform faster and more difficult pieces.

Playing the piano had a way of easing my mind, even the dull pain of my concussion to lessen as I continued.

How much time had passed in my life since everything that had happened when I was a kid? Just how disappointed would Miyuki be with me if she saw me now? She'd be angry, I know that much. I hadn't done anything in my life, other than cause other people problems. I thought at one point that ending my life would have been the solution. To not be a bother on anyone but instead I found out that my Mom would not be able to handle it. If she lost me, she wouldn't have anyone else. After she divorced her husband and adopted me, she had left a lot of things behind.

She spent years putting me through therapy and other programs in an attempt to help me, I felt I had only been a burden to her, but she never thought of it that way. Even though I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, I would keep living, if only for Mom. She was my adopted Mother, and the Mother of Miyuki, my childhood friend. Or I guess the only one that could qualify as one. Not that it matters since Miyuki is dead.

As I continued to play I find it strange that I could still get lost in the music as I played. Maybe it was because it was an escape in itself, and the one comfort I had from my childhood. I think it was just because it had this way of giving off an appearance that I was well educated or that I had refined hobbies or something. It was the one escape my bastard of an Uncle had given me.

My Uncle had been a local politician so I guess how he raised me was an important part of how it made him look. It was only for appearances though. I wore long sleeve shirts at all times of the year, regardless of the weather to hide the bruises and scars. Even to this day I still did. The scars would always be there, and it was just easier to hide them this way. My Uncle had me learn the piano as a means to show off the opportunities he gave me. All for the purpose of deceiving the public eye. How he treated me...the yelling, the hitting, the overall abuse was something that I couldn't run away from. All of that came to an end when Miyuki died. Her Father was charged with manslaughter when he pushed her in anger and her head hit squarely on the corner of a table. She died instantly.

It was so stupid. After all she had been through and suffered, her life came to an end when she finally moved to make it all change for the better. At the same time she had simultaneously raised questions about my Uncle when the authorities read her diary, which was more detailed then I could have suspected. Miyuki was a victim of sexual abuse from her Father, and the diary held a detailed record of what had been done to her. But that was not all in her diary. She had also written a detailed record of my own injuries over the years. This lead to investigators opening allegations against my Uncle And doing a full medical exam to see if Miyuki's record was just as accurate for me as it had been for her. After doing several medical exams and comparing my injuries to what was reported, they sentenced my Uncle to prison, with him likely to be there for forty or so years. Even if he does get out eventually he wouldn't be allowed to even be in the same city as me. All of that had only been possible because of Miyuki.

I started to increase the tempo of the song as I transitioned it into a different song. I couldn't stand these thoughts. These stupid memories that I could never get out of my head. Why did my thoughts always lead me back to Miyuki? No that wasn't true. There was something that had always managed to move my thoughts away from her. The songs and voice of Kujikawa Rise.

When I heard Star Bright the first time I felt like maybe there was a way I could push forward and find a way to live. A way for me to maybe enjoy myself for once. I shook my head. What childish sentiments I had. Nothing I did ever made me forget about the abuse I experienced or Miyuki's sacrifice she made to save me.

But I could still remember hearing that song, and that voice that seemed to call out to me, to support me. When I heard Star Bright it felt like she was singing to me. Just for me. It was what inspired me to play the piano again...and what made me want to sing.

 _"Night has fallen across the sky  
_ _And I've left myself in pieces once again  
_ _Death is falling across the sky  
_ _And there is no putting me back together again_

 _Under a solitary light  
_ _Where the real world has no place  
_ _You silently plead for me to fight  
_ _But there is no longer a purpose to this plight_

 _So before my final breath  
_ _I will extinguish all that is my life_

 _Don't let me fall  
_ _Can you catch me before the end?  
_ _And if you save me…  
_ _Will you love me?  
_ _Or am I simply a lost cause?_

 _Don't let me fall  
_ _Can you catch me before the end?  
_ _And if you save me…  
_ _Will you love me?  
_ _Or am I simply a lost cause?_

 _A shadow has fallen across the sky  
_ _And I'm nothing more than a hollow mess  
_ _The reaper slowly falls across the sky  
_ _His course is set to take me to emptiness_

 _The last ray of light  
_ _It's my world's last refuge  
_ _You stand there only smiling  
_ _But are you really there?  
_ _Before I take my last breath  
_ _I ask you listen to my last selfish request_

 _Don't let me fall  
_ _Can you catch me before the end?  
_ _And if you save me…  
_ _Will you love me?  
_ _Or am I simply a lost cause?_

 _Don't let me fall  
_ _There is no second chance  
_ _If you take this moment  
_ _I will love you  
_ _From here on, and forever more"_

I played the outro of the song and then sighed a bit as I stopped and stared at the piano keys. Why did I sing? What was it about just the thought of Star Bright that inspired me to sing like this? There had to be something fundamentally wrong with me. Actually, that point was obvious.

It wasn't considered normal to attempt suicide. Most might find a measure of regret in trying something like that and try and improve themselves and their lives. For me though, it wasn't true at all. Instead the only thing I had a problem with was hurting Mom. My life wasn't important, but my dying was obviously not a solution that Mom would be okay with. The song Star Bright had been something I had been shown after my suicide attempt. At a time Mom was overly concerned with me. But did any of that ever help me? Or was I simply going through the motions? If something happened to Mom… would there be anything stopping me from taking my own life? No, there wouldn't be.

I got to my feet and turned to the door of the studio and noticed that standing in the doorway was none other than the voice behind the song Star Bright, Kujikawa Rise. She was staring at me but it looked like she was holding a lot of emotions in her eyes. I wonder how long she had been there listening to me. Well it didn't matter. After today I would likely never talk to her again. My life was not worth paying attention to. And meeting the girl that had been called Risette was something I had never wanted to do. I would have to get rid of my childish thoughts that Star Bright was made just for me. I'm not an idiot. I know it wasn't written or sung for my benefit. It was so she could become an idol. But I wanted to hold onto the feelings I had when I first heard that song. And now. Now it seemed I would lose that as well.

"I...umm...your Mom wanted me to tell you that dinner is ready, Ikakure-senpai," Kujikawa seemed nervous. Her nervous? Talking to a nobody like me? Yeah, right. Why was she even here? She looked into my eyes as I approached but she averted her gaze after only a moment.

I casually walked towards the door and passed by her. "Thanks for letting me know." My voice was stiffer than I had intended but it didn't matter. I don't know what Mom's intentions were having her here but the sooner it was over with, the better. I didn't check if she followed me and I just moved to the dining room and sat at the table in my usual spot.

As I settled in my seat I saw Kujikawa settle in across from me. And Mom bringing over the food onto the table. She smiled at me before looking over to Kujikawa. "How do you like your curry dear? I made a mild version and a spicy one," Mom obviously could feel the tension between the two of us.

Tension that I feel was more on Kujikawa's side than my own. Maybe I was irritated, but it was nothing to do with her, just my own personal stupidity on never wanting to meet her.

"I actually prefer spicy," Kujikawa returned my Mother's smile, but it was a smile too well practiced. It was one that came with having to do so again and again. Judging by her body posture and the way her eyes kept darting around, she wasn't just nervous but wanted it all to end sooner than later. I understood that all too well. Still why did she show up if she didn't really want to be here? Well it didn't matter to me either way, it was just one night.

"Alright, spicy it is," Mom was then serving up the food and pretty much acting oblivious to the mood of the room. She placed a plate in front of me and then in front of Kujikawa before making her own plate.

"It's really good," Kujikawa was the next to speak after taking a few bites.

Mom chuckled, "I'm surprised you can handle something so spicy, Rise-chan. Kay-chan likes things really spicy which is why I usually make two pots for curry."

"I guess it's because I'm usually not allowed to have that stuff," Kujikawa said before she took more bites of her curry. "My manager limits my diet so that I don't hurt my throat."

Mom chuckled at Kujikawa's reply, "I see that the Takura Productions hasn't changed its usual rules for its idols. Though honestly, letting you girls have a little freedom every now and then isn't the worst thing in the world. It's what burns idols out after all." Mom spoke casually but she also had strong feelings about the treatment of idols. No doubt she was interested in the real reasons that Kujikawa had left the idol industry, as well as her plan to return. Mom was still connected to the industry after all.

"I guess that's true for some," Kujikawa shifted a bit uncomfortably in her seat. She then looked back up at my Mom and seemed to settle herself. Actually, why was I noticing all this? I really just needed to eat and be done with this whole dinner thing. Kujikawa then started to talk again, "I heard you were a well sought out manager at Takura Productions before you left."

"Yes, a fact that Hishikawa likes to remind me of at least once a month," Mom shrugged as she ate a few more bites of her food. I simply ate in silence and kept my focus away from them. Not that I could block out their conversation as Mom moved into the question I knew she would ask. "Would you be willing to tell me why you left? You don't have to, but I can't help but feel that it is caused by the unreasonable schedule they make you girls keep."

Kujikawa seemed to slow for a moment and took extra time to chew on her food before swallowing. She then shook her head, "I don't mind. I think someone should know the truth about it. And I can't think of anyone better to tell it to than the two of you."

I looked over to her and raised an eyebrow, but she was looking down at the table. She included me in that? Why? So, I started to object, "Hold on...I'm not..."

"Quiet, dear. Let her speak," Mom cut me off and with a glance that told me to shut up and listen. I sighed and leaned back. I could defy others easily enough...manipulate the emotions of classmates to ostracize myself. But defy my Mother? She was the only reason I even bothered to continue to live out this life I had. So if Mom wanted me to listen I had no choice but to do that.

"It all has to do with why I became an Idol to begin with. I was in middle school and I lacked confidence, was incredibly shy and I had no real experience dealing with others. I was never any good at making friends but it was what I wanted. My Uncle saw me struggling, so he signed me up for an audition. He told me I could build confidence and gain all the skills I would need to make friends. All I had to do was become an Idol. It sounded like such a wonderful dream that I put everything I had into it. I stepped way out of my comfort zone in hopes of attaining it. A way to change my life. And thanks to the both of you, I got that chance. I became an idol. And at first, I loved it. People cheered for me, talked to me because they really wanted to do so. That was what I believed at the time," Kujikawa had put her utensil down but was still staring down at her food.

Had she never really talked to anyone about this? What about her friends? Wasn't she with a lot of people? Didn't they know? I still don't understand why telling us was something she was okay with.

Kujikawa paused and took a deep breath before she continued, "About a year ago my Uncle died due to cancer. He was the reason I had became an Idol, and when he died I started to think about that reason. I was trying to make friends, to be seen and involved with everyone around me. For a while it was a lot of fun. It was like what my Uncle had told me, I had become the center of attention. When he died, I realized that the reason for that attention was shallow. People only saw Risette the idol, not Kujikawa Rise the girl that had become Risette. Everyone only called me Risette, even my own parents. When I realized that I couldn't get it outta my mind. If all anyone saw was Risette, then nothing had changed. I was still alone, this time surrounded by people that never saw me."

Was that it? That was the reason she quit? "Bullshit, you're lying," I found myself saying after a moment. She looked to me with a flash of irritation on her face. I was used to that reaction but she didn't have a clue as to why I said that. That's fine, I can clarify it for her. "You used to love singing. You used to believe the words you sang. Maybe you don't realize it, but you've had these thoughts for longer than just a year. Your Uncle's death may have brought it to your attention but that isn't when you started to show it."

"How dare you! I'm not lying!" Kujikawa shot daggers at me with her eyes. I had just called her a liar so she had a right to be mad at me. Not that I cared if she was, but I could play this game.

"Then listen to your music. I'll show you exactly where you started to doubt yourself," I met her ire head on with my own piercing gaze.

"My...music?" her tone changed immediately. My words seemed to have done the trick but I wasn't done yet.

"You saw it right? I own all your music," I knew she had to scroll through everything in my mp3 player at some point. "You've been an idol for over three years now. You've released 3 full albums along with a multitude of other songs for anime, movies and occasionally promotional events. But it was shortly after your second CD when all of that changed. That emotion you put in your music it started to dull. I don't know what happened but it affected everything you did after then."

She blinked and looked up at me. Tears were silently gathering and threatened to fall from her eyes, I could see them welling up. She didn't refute me.

"You don't know it, Rise-chan. But there isn't anyone that has quite as good of ears as Kay-chan. Music is one thing he knows better than anyone his age. He's helped me out a lot of times with reviewing idols and other requests from companies. He also is quite knowledgeable on musical theory and psychology. I would say it is quite a hobby of his," My Mom said this about me and I just shook my head.

"That explains why Kujikawa said it was okay to tell us why she had quit. You told her I wrote part of her review for 'Star Bright' didn't you?" I glanced at her. Not like I was mad at this but it was somewhat irritating to know that Mom had been talking to Kujikawa about me while I had been unconscious.

"I'm sorry, dear. Did you want to keep that fact secret from her?" Mom was having way too much fun with this. "Honestly, Kay-chan, I never get to brag about you. Let me do it this one time to the girl that I would say owes you quite a bit."

"She doesn't owe me anything. It was her own skill and ability that..." I sighed once more as Mom had a big smile on her face. "Stop it, Mom."

"See, Rise-chan. You had at least one fan that really listened to your music. Have you ever heard Kay-chan ever call you Risette?" Mom wasn't letting go of this at all.

"Don't listen to her, I-" I looked to Kujikawa but what I saw stopped me from being able to say anything more.

Kujikawa was crying. Tears streamed down her cheeks but she didn't look away from me. Instead I could see a multitude of questions wanting to escape from her. After a moment she was able to speak, "You...you could tell? My singing changed? But you're right, something did happen." She wiped away her tears only for more to replace them. She still had her composure, but it seemed that at any moment she would break down into sobs.

"What happened?" I found myself asking before I could really stop myself. I didn't really care… did I?

"It was a fan gathering after one of my concerts. I was signing autographs and taking pictures, which is pretty normal but I overheard someone. They said it was stupid to get over excited meeting an idol. That it wasn't like we remembered our fans. That the relationships made with an idol were fake. I didn't think anything of it at the time. Or that was what I thought," Kujikawa grimaced and looked away from me.

"In actuality you did listen, and you did think about it. You started to lose confidence in yourself and what you were doing as an idol," I spoke softly as I could picture the rest of what likely happened from there.

"I must have," she was looking down at the table again. "Did you really know since back then? That something had changed?"

"If it had been just a single song, I probably wouldn't have noticed at all. But it didn't go away, even when you sang your older songs they just lost something to them. I couldn't put a specific reason to them other than something had happened to make you dislike singing or performing," I don't know why I was bothering to explain it. "Why would it matter when I had figured it out?"

"It matters to me," Kujikawa spoke after a moment. "After all, it means that someone could see me. Truly see me."

"Well I heard you. I don't watch your performances or whatever," I had no idea how I should continue to talk about this. "Besides you decided you are going to perform again, right?"

"Yes, I was finally able to make friends. Real friends, while I was here. They accepted me as I am. It didn't matter to them that I was an Idol or that I had left that life behind. They all had their own reasons but I finally felt I had achieved the reason I became an idol. And it was also because of them that I realized something else. That while Risette the idol is something sold to the public for Takura Productions to make money and what people see is mostly controlled. What they see and hear is still me. You can't please everyone, all you can do is believe in yourself and keep going. I want to go back as an Idol because it is still a part of me. And I don't know if I could live a life without singing on a stage ever again," as she spoke this time, her tears dried up and her voice grew more confident. It was obvious that her friends meant alot to her.

"Sounds like you got it all sorted out then. I'll be looking forward to your return then," I said and took a drink from my tea. Why did Mom have to press for that information? And I don't get how me figuring out that something had happened to her based on her voice meant anything when she had already dealt with her hang ups. None of this made sense to me.

Mom was giggling now and looking at me. I gave her a questioning glance but it made her giggle a bit more, "Kay-chan, you spend your life avoiding others. You have your reasons but this girl remains to be the singular voice that reaches you. If it had been anyone else I doubt you would have said anything at all. You would have simply let her tell her tale and make the night go by faster. But no you challenged her, because you wanted to know why your favorite singer had changed."

I went slack jawed at Mom's words. Was she right? She couldn't be. I shook my head, "So what? She didn't have to answer me, she doesn't have a reason to want to tell me." I went to get up from the table but Mom spoke again.

"She also didn't have to stay at your side while you were unconscious. She didn't have to come here to dinner either. Yet you seem to believe she is doing so out of some sort of feeling of obligation, right?" Mom looked right at me and I could see it in her eyes. Disappointment, again. Again Mom tried to reach out to me, tried to help me, and what was I doing?

Sorry, Mom. I don't know what you want from me anymore. I can't be the son you want. I'll keep living this idiotic life for you. But I can't do anything more than that. Even if Rise was my favorite singer and I had wanted to know the truth. In the end it was just selfish. I only wanted to hear her sing again. I'm nothing more than a selfish bastard. The only reason I had promised to never attempt suicide again was for the part of me that wasn't selfish. But I don't think I'll ever be someone you can ever be proud of, Mom.

I got to my feet, "Thanks for the food." I spoke stiffly and quickly left the dining room and headed back to my room. Nothing's that simple. What did Mom expect from me? To try and move on? To find a reason to do something more in my life? My life wasn't worth anything. And I wasn't about to let even the smallest ridiculous thoughts of hope to enter my mind. I didn't want or need any needless complications in my life. Whatever. I would never see Kujikawa Rise ever again. The sooner, the better.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I hope you liked it! I will be posting two parts on Christmas Eve with the final part coming to you on Christmas Day. Let me just say this is a Christmas present to all my readers and to anyone else that comes to enjoy this story. Thank you very much and I'll see you all tomorrow with the next two parts!**

 **Leave a review and let me know what you think! And if you like this then I hope you take the time to check out the proper Last Symphony story. Just check out my profile to find it!**


	2. Part 2

**_Part_** _**2**_

 _December 12th, 2011 / Evening  
_ _Kayane's House_

 ** _RISE'S POINT OF VIEW_**

He left. Without so much as a glance or another word, he walked out. I didn't have any clue why, but there was obviously something else going on here. I was further alarmed when Tsukio Nanase slammed her right hand onto the table. Frustration was all over her face.

"Great job, Nanase," Kayane's Mother grumbled under her breath but it was still loud enough for me to hear. She looked to me and then sighed, "I'm sorry, Rise-chan. I may have took advantage of your presence beyond what I intended."

"Is that what you wanted? The effect you wanted me to have on him?" I ask remembering the short conversation I had with her in the infirmary. "But why?"

"You heard him didn't you? The song that he sang? That song speaks of a hidden desire that I don't even think he realizes he has. It might be hard to remember the lyrics after only hearing the song once. But that song is called 'Don't let me Fall' and was one of the first songs he ever wrote. He doesn't really think much about why he writes those songs, and he dismisses his lyrics as just chicken scratch and doesn't want to realize what he is truly saying. When you heard him talking about you and your music and how he was able to pinpoint around the time something had changed for you, would you believe his own music doesn't have a deeper meaning?" Nanase got to her feet. "Can you catch me before the end? And if you save me...Will you love me? Those are lyrics he repeats. Why do you think he does that?"

That song? His voice was so beautiful and yet I could feel the horrible sadness that was attached to it. A coldness that was hard for just anyone to recognize and even rare to understand. He repeats it because it was part of the chorus right? That was just part of basic song structure, but it was still a choice for that to be the chorus. If he really wrote his lyrics without really thinking too much about it then maybe he was writing real messages he wanted people to hear, messages he was sure no one would ever hear. I knew that feeling all too well.

Those words though...did it mean what I thought it did? If you save me...will you love me? Those aren't words written by someone that wanted someone to help him. Those were words that were considering beyond that. The future. It wasn't about him needing help. "He is afraid. People try to help him, but he's afraid about what comes after. Will those same people be there after the fact? He wants..." I looked at Kayane's Mom and I searched for a word that could fit it. "...companionship."

"I'm a selfish woman, Rise-chan. I asked you over for my own desires. I've spent years trying to get through to him, one way or another. But then I push too hard and I end up doing what I did tonight. He goes back into himself and now it will be days before he will even speak to me again. Either way, I would say that at the very least you got to meet your very first fan. He got to hear your song before the rest of the world. Star Bright is and will likely always be his favorite song. You don't know it, but you saved his life. In more ways than I could properly explain," Kayane's Mother got to her feet and bowed to me. "I thank you for coming tonight and indulging me. And even if it was only brief, he truly showed more emotion tonight than he has in quite some time. I'm sorry for dragging you into this."

She started gathering up the dishes and taking them to the sink of the kitchen.

I asked a question before thinking, "What happened to him?"

Kayane's Mother briefly looked back at me, "Rise-chan, I understand why you ask but I don't think you should delve too much further. You have done a lot for him without even meeting him. I hope that your music in the future can help him even more." She turned away from me, her next words came out softer but I could hear her clearly. "If I could I would selfishly ask you to save my son." Then she disappeared towards the kitchen

I was left alone and I looked down at my curry. My appetite was gone, but the food had been really good. He likes spicy food right? I got to my feet and made my way to the front door. I looked back and down the long hallway. His room was likely down there. It was also where the studio was. It was crazy how well he played the piano. He also had an amazing voice. I had been completely entranced in his music. The truth was that as I listened… as beautiful as it had been, I felt the entire time like I was on the verge of tears. There was something inherently… tragic about his music. I wanted to know why. What happened to Kayane to have such sorrowful eyes? He looked as if nothing he did mattered. And no manner of praise for his talent would result in anything.

He didn't want praise, he wanted someone to be there for him.

Was my music enough to help him? Would I be happy with that? To just walk out of his life and never know why my very first fan never smiled. There was obviously something big that I didn't know about him. I opened the door and quickly slipped my shoes back on and my coat before I left and I shut the door behind me. I stood out front and turned back to the house once more and bowed. What I saw tonight… what I felt… how was I supposed to just forget all of that and go on with my life?

He knew. He had only listened to my music. He didn't watch my acting my TV appearances and likely didn't even have a single poster of me. From what little I knew about Ikakure Kayane, he had excellent hearing. Hearing that often was only found on expert musicians. People that could tune an instrument with such precision it was near perfection. Kayane knew only by my songs and my voice that something in my life had changed. Yet he claimed not to understand his own music and lyrics? That was probably just him avoiding the truth of his own life. To him, music was an escape… something that didn't connect back to his real life. Now that I think about it...there was a word that could easily describe what the music he had sung made me feel. Lost.

What was I going to do? Just forget about him? Just move on with my life and forget about Ikakure Kayane? Could I do something like that? How could I? He knew… he knew exactly when I had changed. He had truly listened to me, ever since the beginning. How could I turn my back on someone like him? But I knew nothing about him. But the pain I felt in my heart right now told me one thing. I wanted to know more about Ikakure Kayane. I wanted to know why he was hurting. Why he sang such a beautiful but sad song… And those words… _If you save me… Will you love me?_ If I go forward with this… I would have to commit to it all the way.

I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contacts. I called Shirogane Naoto as I started walking home. It was a familiar path, as this was past where Narukami Yu was currently living at.

"Hello?" I heard Naoto speak.

"Naoto-chan, sorry about calling so late," my voice was softer than normal. I guess I didn't really trust my voice at the moment. I still felt my heart racing as I could still hear Ikakure-senpai's voice in my head. The sound of his song… and the sight of him walking out of the dining room at the end. All of it was fresh in my mind.

"Rise-san, what's wrong?" she asked. Of course she could tell, it wasn't like I was trying to hide it. It's why I called her, I needed the company.

"I think I got more than I bargained for," I said after a moment.

"Rise, remember our conversation today? I told you I thought his name sounded familiar as did his Mother's name. It kept nagging at me so I did some research," Naoto calmly told me this but I could feel my heart sink. I knew it before she said anything. She had found part of why Ikakure-senpai was filled with such sadness.

"Naoto, what did you find?" I pushed her even as a part of me screamed to stop. That there would be no turning back past this point. It didn't matter, I had to know.

"Ikakure Kayane was a victim of child abuse and negligence. It would be one thing if that was the worst of it. However, he was also tied to a girl named Tsukio Miyuki. She was sexually abused by her own Father, and she died in a struggle with him. As it turns out she had manipulated her parents so her Father was caught in the act by her Mother. Ikakure-senpai was a principal witness of that case. It turns out that the girl, Miyuki, kept a detailed diary. One that went back for at least two years that described not only the acts done against her but records of abuse that Kayane had suffered," Naoto stated this as she would any case she had worked on in the past. But I felt missing pieces falling into place. The facts here matched up with the emotions I saw in that household, for both Tsukio-san and Ikakure-senpai.

"So his childhood friend saved him..." I spoke softly as I stopped walking. My vision suddenly blurry. I realized quickly enough that tears were flooding from my eyes. "Naoto. Please, you have to tell me everything. I need to know everything I can about him."

"Rise, what happened?" Naoto asked.

I sobbed and tried to steady my breathing, "I don't know where to begin. But, Naoto, I can't wait. I need to know this now. It's important."

"I understand. I'll gather my things and come to your house, okay? Just take some time to collect yourself and be careful the rest of the way, okay?" Naoto sounded like she was already gathering things.

"Thank you," I managed and hung up. I was close to losing myself completely to my tears. Even as I wiped them away more came to replace them. This was why his Mom had said what she did. She warned me not to delve too deep and yet from what Naoto said… it was likely finding information about him would have been easy to do. I wonder if an Internet search would have been enough to find out what Naoto had.

However, there was also what she said at the end… about her wishing she could ask me to save her son. How was I supposed to just move on with my life? To just forget about someone like Ikakure Kayane? He was part of the reason I had been given the chance to be an Idol to begin with. I had a lot to think about this. I took a moment to stop and try and calm myself down. After a few deep breaths I wiped my tears away once more and started walking again. It was a bit of a walk but after a while I was at the shopping district.

"Rise," A voice called out to me.

I turned and saw Naoto standing there. She definitely looked like she left in a bit of a rush. She also held a thick folder under her arm.

"Naoto, thank goodness you could come," I felt relief as I kept walking, Naoto fell into step next to me. "I would go crazy otherwise."

She moved closer to me and brought her hand up to my face, "You're crying."

"It's umm...complicated. You know more about what he's been through but I have a decent idea of how it's affected him," I couldn't hide that it was affecting me, that was for sure. "Come on let's go to my house. We can talk there."

"Yeah, okay," Naoto nodded as she put her hand down and we made our way quickly to my place. It wasn't that far and we quickly went up the stairs on the side of the tofu shop to get to the top floor where my Grandmother and I lived. I pulled out my key and unlocked the door and showed Naoto inside. My Grandmother was likely already in bed so after we took off our shoes I took Naoto down the hall to my room which was at the end of the hall. I closed the door and thankfully our house was build a bit more practically than more traditional houses. We lived above the tofu shop so the upstairs was insulated with noise canceling material so that the customers wouldn't be bothered by anything happening up here.

I slipped off my jacket and moved to my bed and sat down for a moment. I stared down at my knees. "Did you know that Ikakure Kayane plays the piano and sings?" I say this as I felt a world of emotions fill me up once more as I remembered that song he sung. It seemed to haunt me still. And the words of that song now seemed to hold even heavier weight than previously. "His voice was so amazing, and the music he played on the piano held a complexity and depth that I'm not sure I know the proper words to explain it. But as amazed and entranced I was to hear him play and sing, there were emotions there I didn't even notice until later on. And now it feels like he's calling out to me, but he doesn't believe anyone will ever respond to him. Because he knows how unreasonable he is. He's aware of how difficult it would be to help him. He's given up hope for himself."

"It sounds like you really did get into more than you bargained for," Naoto sat on the bed next to me. She sighed before she spoke again, "It sounds like you know what he wants."

"I do," I took a deep breath and felt as if I could start crying at any moment. "That's why I have to know everything I can. Naoto, if I do this… if I vow to help him… I can't turn back. If I did… I would hurt him even more. I need to give this serious thought because being half hearted would kill him."

"I see," Naoto opened the large folder in her lap. "My Grandfather was actually involved in that case. And he keeps files of all his cases at the house. I was able to find it easily enough. So let's start at the beginning. There was a lot of different factors to the case as far as I can tell. Ikakure himself was already in… unique circumstances. It appears his parents died in a accident when he was young. There isn't many details about it here, only that his Uncle took custody of him when he was only three years old."

"Three years old?" I repeated softly. That was hardly time to know your parents or have many memories at all. So his Uncle was probably all he knew for most of his life.

"His Uncle didn't adopt him with the best of intentions. Instead, he used Ikakure as a means to boost his own social standings for his ambitions. Using the story of Ikakure's Parents deaths as a means to draw sympathy. He controlled Ikakure-senpai's hobbies so that he wouldn't wander off after school and to basically a way to show off the 'opportunities' he was giving the boy he adopted. It's part of the reason he learned to play the piano. It was just his Uncle trying to control his free time and boost his reputation. Ikakure-senpai still befriended his neighbor, she was a young girl a couple years older than him. According to the journal left by the young Tsukio, the two of them started sneaking out occasionally at night to go to the park. It became a normal practice for them, and often times, the young Tsukio would often bandage him and treat his wounds at those times. One of those nights, however, Ikakure witnessed the young Tsukio being raped by her Father. And apparently Ikakure did report it to his teacher at school But no one listened to him," As she spoke she flipped through the folder and was likely still going over the details of the case. A picture fell from the folder and I leaned over and picked it up.

When I flipped the picture over I nearly dropped it again. I took in a sharp breath as I couldn't look away. There was writing along the bottom of it, _Kayane Age 10_. The Picture was of his bare back, but there were bruises, discoloration and cuts in all direction. He was beaten badly, and often, and likely with something capable of cutting open his skin. My eyes widened for a moment. Naoto took the picture from my hand and tucked it back into the folder. Naoto had already told me he was a victim of abuse… but actually seeing it made it all the more real to me.

"His injuries were bad enough. After a full examination they found he had a couple of broken ribs and a lot of bruising around the time it all happened. Along with old injuries and some that did not heal properly. There was more than enough physical evidence and along with the documented accounts by the young Tsukio, it quickly got his Uncle sent to prison for...looks like forty years. And conditions for his potential release stipulates he essentially cannot be in the same town as Ikakure Kayane," Naoto flipped though a few things and a picture stood out. The picture had three individuals...a boy with black hair. That was Kayane. A young girl, but older than the boy was likely Miyuki. She had auburn colored hair. Then the older woman was likely Tsukio Nanase. This was likely the closest thing to a family he had ever had. And Miyuki was taken from him. Died saving him and herself. It wasn't fair.

Tears were falling down my face again. I couldn't help it, the more I knew the more it all aligned with what I had seen. But I felt more powerless now than before. "How am I supposed to just forget this? To know all of that and just turn my back away? I can't...I can't do that."

"What is it? What about him has affected you so?" Naoto asks, and it was definitely a fair question. It was a complicated answer.

"You didn't hear him, Naoto. It's hard to explain. It wasn't like he acted any different than before. He was cold towards me. Dismissive. I am positive he didn't want me there. Remember what we talked about before? About my reasons for leaving the idol industry?" I guess it would be easier to explain this way.

"Yes, because you were unsure if people really saw you for who you really are," Naoto confirmed it.

I nodded. It had been my problem at a very base level. But Kayane… his answer still shook me to the very core. "He knew, Naoto. Without me ever talking to him, without him ever meeting me, he knew. And he knew exactly when something in my life had changed. He heard it in my voice. When I talked about it he called me a liar. I thought it was my Uncle's death that had triggered it. But he then pointed out to me exactly when my songs started to sound different to him. He told me he knew exactly when I had started to doubt myself. And he was right..." I sniffed and wiped away my tears as a part of me wanted to laugh. "I had doubted myself, wondering if anyone could see the real me, and little did I know that someone did. He could tell just by the sound in my songs. If I had to guess, there isn't a fan in the world that knows my songs as well as he does. He could see me, for who I really am. He could tell so much about me, just by the sound of my voice..."

"Rise-chan...are you...falling for him?" Naoto asks.

I blink and look to her for a moment, "Falling for him?" I briefly repeat the words as if I wasn't quite sure what they meant. "I don't know. Then again I don't have experience when it comes to that. I thought I had been in love with Yu-senpai but he was already dating Yukiko-chan. I can't say what I'm feeling for Ikakure-senpai is the same or different. I learned a lot about his past, but I don't know much about what he's been through up to now. Only that he listens to my music… I know his Mom is trying to do all she can to make him… I don't know… live. And it's so tense between them that I felt like I was just another attempt to get through to him."

Another _failed_ attempt. Or it would be if I gave up.

Naoto took a moment, likely to consider what she would say next but she then met my eyes. "Rise-chan… there is something else I found you should know about," Naoto voice was almost a whisper and softer than before. "About two years ago, he attempted suicide."

My heart stopped, "Suicide?" I felt like another part of the puzzle started to fill in. Is that what his Mom had meant when she was talking about saving him? "So, he never recovered...he hasn't ever gotten over what happened in the past." All this time… was he still trapped? Trapped in the tragedy of his youth? Him being abused, and his childhood friend's death… could anyone overcome that unscathed?

"Unfortunately the human mind deeply engraves the worst memories so that we will never forget, in hopes that we can avoid it in the future. We as humans find a way to deal with what we've gone through and try to move on with our lives, but that memory never fades. Rise-chan, you need to think about this. If you get further involved with him, you will get hurt. And I don't mean just being rejected. I mean you could really be hurt," Naoto was saying this as a warning and she had now closed the file folder and placed it down on the floor of my room. "What would you feel if starting tomorrow he never showed up to school again and a week or so later we find out he had committed suicide? You know only so much about him, but even I would be affected by such an outcome. It's that kind of pain that you will ultimately have to face."

"I know that. But he isn't just anyone. If it wasn't for him, I would have likely never became an idol to begin with. Even his Mom said it, he was my first fan. That part of my life would have never happened without him. And yet as I learn all these things that happened to him… I don't know anything about who he is as a person. I heard him play the piano and sing, but that is only a small portion of who he is. My initial reaction is to feel pity for him and everything he went through. But that isn't what he wants, and it isn't what he needs. If his song is an indicator of what he really needs...he needs someone that is going to be there for him. Not just once or twice...but always."

"He has a fear of abandonment. After all, he lost his parents while he was young and then his childhood friend. Losses like that in those times in your life have a very negative influence on how you grow up. Look, my point is that if you keep pressing into his life there are several potential outcomes and a lot of them end in a lot of heartache. And even if you do get through to him, you might get hurt along the way," Naoto was warning me of something I had already realized.

I had a choice to make. Did I just go on with my life and try to forget about him? Maybe hoping that my music would eventually help him... Or do I take a chance, a gamble that could get me hurt...but maybe could save him. His song was stuck in my head. I'm not sure if I was capable of turning away now. Not after hearing his song. The song that called out for help… help that he was sure he would never get. He had given my life hope by helping me become an Idol.

If I choose to help him, it would not be half-way. I would do so with the determination to always be a part of his life. Now, and forever. Could I do that? Deep in my heart… the decision had already been made.

* * *

 _December 14th, 2011 / After School  
_ _Yasogami High 3rd Floor_

I felt like the days had gotten longer since Kujikawa Rise had come to my house for dinner just two nights ago. Falling down the stairs of the school had probably done a number to my head too. I probably wasn't in the best of situations at home either because of it. I had gotten so angry, and I can't really understand why. It wasn't like Mom had said anything that wasn't true. It seemed like it was another of Mom's attempts to… well do something. It wasn't just anyone she had invited over, but Risette. I did enjoy her music, so maybe Mom thought I would be more open with her or something. Why did it even matter?

Likely because I was graduating soon… and Mom knew I was going to leave. I hadn't told her I was going to but she wasn't stupid. My English was good enough for me to go to America if I really wanted to leave this place behind. As if that would help anything. Mom would likely just hunt me down. It was too much to believe I could just disappear and be forgotten. At least I didn't have to deal with...Kujikawa?

The girl that had just entered my thoughts entered into my classroom. She walked over to someone. Oh right, it was Watanabe-san. He was the music club president. Thank goodness she hadn't come here to talk to me.

"Okay, Watanabe-senpai. I've thought about it and I've come to a decision," Kujikawa spoke more than loud enough for me to hear. I didn't exactly want to eavesdrop but I couldn't help it from this small of distance.

"Really? Will you do the concert then?" my classmate asked her.

"I will but I have a condition. Actually I have two. The first is that my agency will be involved. I can't avoid it if I'm going to sing in public," Kujikawa likely would have difficulties if she just did the performance and her agency found out after the fact.

"Well, not much we can do about that. And it's more of a formality thing right? What is your second condition?" Watanabe asked her.

"Ikakure-senpai has to be apart of it," her words floated harmlessly enough to me. But as soon as it hit my ears I felt my whole body tense up as my remaining classmates in the room turned to me. I did my best to look like I hadn't heard and began to quickly pack up my bag.

"Ikakure?" Watanabe echoed my name. "Why?"

"You don't know?" Kujikawa said it all so easily. But the words were putting me under an intense spotlight. "He is an amazing pianist and singer. His Mother is actually a big name in the music industry."

"Is that right? He's never really indicated that he could do so before..." Watanabe looked understandably skeptical.

I kept my eyes down at my bag and put the last of my books into it. Getting up and leaving now would likely not be an option anymore. I had been cornered by Kujikawa. I guess it was my own fault. If I hadn't reacted so badly and fallen down the stairs then she would have never ended up coming to my place. Then I wouldn't have to deal with this situation. I had no one to blame for this but myself.

"It's true," another voice spoke up. I was surprised by Kujikawa suddenly having backup so I looked up and saw that the voice belonged to Mitsuragi Saya. "Ikakure used to be in piano competitions. So I can vouch for that side. I didn't know he could sing though."

"Oh? Do you know Ikakure outside of class?" Watanabe asked.

She shook her head, "No, I just happened to be at one of the last competitions he was at."

My last competition? But that would have been years ago... seven years ago to be precise. I hadn't done so since elementary school. Who cares? I had enough of this, so I got to my feet and slung my bag over my shoulder.

Watanabe quickly called out to me, "Hold on, Ikakure. You've been listening to us so far, right?"

"I'm sure Kujikawa-san's intention was to ensure that I did," I evaded my gaze, looking to the door. "This is about your Christmas concert right?"

He sighed after a moment and turned his attention back to Kujikawa, "You won't do it without him? That isn't fair to Ikakure." Seemed that Watanabe could tell I was not inclined to do this.

"No it isn't," she admitted, which surprised me. "It's partly my own selfishness but it's also because it'll be easier to talk my agency into letting me do it if he is. His Mother, is a name that could easily sway my Agency to allowing me to do the performance. So it's less of a condition and more of increasing my chances of not being turned down." Kujikawa further elaborated and I hated to admit it but her reasoning actually made sense. My Mother's name would have a lot of pull with Takura Productions so they might be more willing to allow it if I was involved.

Watanabe looked back to me and frowned a bit. We had been classmates for so long, he had to know what I wanted to say, "Well, Ikakure, what is your answer?" He was prepared for rejection, I could see it on his face.

How long would this drag out? If I did say no here… would Kujikawa give up talking to me? Why did she want me there to begin with? I looked to her and she simply smiled. That smile irritated me. That was not a real smile, it was her practiced smile she wore to placate people. Just who the hell did she think I was? I wasn't one of her star struck fans that would bend over backwards for her. When that fake smile refused to go away I felt my answer bubbling up.

"I'll do it," I said with a sharp tone. The moment the words left my mouth the entire classroom went silent.

"You'll what?" Watanabe blinked, not believing me.

I ignored him and my classmates, walking up to Kujikawa. I openly glared at her, "I have my own condition. I do this and I never want to see you again, understand?"

The fake smile on her face didn't waver despite how angry the words I spoke came out. "Not unless I can get you to change your mind," She countered with flawless execution. "I won't make this easy for you Senpai. But you better put your best into this concert if you want it to be a fair fight."

"Fine, if that's how you want it," I then stepped past her.

"Hold on, Ikakure, are you serious?" Watanabe asked. I stopped and turned to him and gave him a nod.

"You're running out of time, right?" I then looked back to the door. "If I said no you'd be in a rough spot. Besides, I've said no to you and all of our classmates all of these years. At the very least I should help at least once before graduation."

"I...don't know what to say," Watanabe took a deep breath. "Then would you be willing to come to the music room? I got time to use it from the symphonic band for the music clubs concert so..."

"Yeah, why not. I need to know what we are going to be playing after all so I can practice," I adjusted my bag on my shoulder. "And you want to hear my skills for yourself, right?"

This was a horrible idea. I walked out of the classroom without looking back. What was going to happen when I had another anxiety attack? And me performing in a concert? I was really asking for it. Although, it was a relatively small risk in the grander scheme of things. One concert… one more time playing the piano in front of an audience… and it would be the last time I would have to deal with Kujikawa Rise or anyone else for that matter. Soon enough, all of this would just be a part of the past.

I made my way to the band room and entered without hesitation. When I did so, there were two others sitting in the room but they didn't have Yasogami High uniforms. Their uniforms were definitely from a different High School. I ignored them and crossed over to the piano. This was my old piano... Never thought I would be playing it here at the school though.

I turned as Watanabe entered followed by three other people, one of them being Kujikawa. "Taro-kun, you made it. Friend of yours?" Watanabe spoke to the guy with short brown hair in the non-Yasogami uniform.

"She would have come regardless of what I say. How about we start this from the beginning?" The one name Taro responded.

"Alright, thank you all for coming. I know I'm asking a lot from all of you. But still, thank you. Let's do some formal introductions. I'm Watanabe Ichiro, club president for the music club. Well most of the members are seniors and have already stopped coming to club. But I really wanted to pull off one more concert before graduation. Oh but we do have two members here," He indicated to two of the girls that had come in with him.

"I'm Ichide Tsubasa," she had dark brown hair and was easily the tallest of the girls in the room. She was a classmate of mine, and although I didn't really know her, I knew that her and the girl next to her were close friends. "I play the bass, and have since I was a kid. Saya and I also joined the music club when we were a lot younger."

"I'm Mitsuragi Saya," her voice was lighter and she gave a bow to the room as she spoke. She definitely seemed nervous. "I can play a few things such as the flute or piano."

"I'm Kujikawa Rise and I think it's pretty obvious I'm here to sing," Kujikawa was smiling again. This time it wasn't really fake as much as she seemed satisfied with the situation. Likely because in some way she felt she had won against me. Who was I to disagree? In a way, she most definitely had.

"Osagawa Taro. I'm here to help Ichiro-kun. I play the guitar. She's a tag-along that I can't seem to get rid of," he indicated the girl next to him.

"Oh, Taro you don't need to be that way," she fake pouted. "I'm Aizawa Reiko. Taro's childhood friend and I play the drums. So if he's gonna help Watanabe-kun then so am I."

"I greatly appreciate it," Watanabe then looked over to me.

I sighed, I suppose I did agree to this. I couldn't ignore them and do it alone in this case. "My name is Ikakure Kayane. I mainly play the piano but I have some experience with a wide range of instruments."

"He also writes his own music and can sing," Kujikawa added.

"At any rate, what songs are we planning to play? And where are we even having this concert?" I cut off Kujikawa before anyone could comment on that.

"Some traditional songs mostly. I was planning for us to play four songs, is that going to be a problem? Everyone here knows how to play Christmas songs right?" Watanabe seemed like he was going from not having anyone to help him, to having more than he thought he'd get.

"What do you play, Watanabe?" I ask as I opened the piano.

"I play the violin," he told me.

It was an odd collection of instruments. The songs would have a bit of a rock edge to it. Changing the arrangement to accommodate it wouldn't be a problem. "So songs like Jingle Bells? O Christmas Tree? Silent Night?"

"Yeah, nothing that is too complex...why do you ask?" Watanabe looked at me for a moment.

I looked at him and then to Kujikawa. She seemed to be curious as to what my intentions were as well. The instruments we had leaned more to a certain style, and honestly even if everyone knew the basics that didn't mean it would all mesh well together. "I'm going to modify the songs. If you want Kujikawa to sound her best then we have to change some of the tempo's and melodies to better match her voice. Also it would be another reason why her agency would approve of her involvement. I asked you before but where is the concert going to take place?"

Watanabe was definitely surprised by what I said but his eyes furrowed when I asked the question. "I don't have a place, I needed to determine the performers before anyone would let me schedule a place. But I was going to plan it for the gymnasium here..."

"Actually, my friend could possibly get us a place to perform at Junes," Kujikawa spoke up. "I'm sure my friends would like to help the event."

I was still looking at her when she met my gaze and she smiled at me. Well, if I was going to do this...I could drag others into this. "Would they be willing to be a part of the concert?" I ask her.

"Doing...what?" Kujikawa asks.

"Singing," I answered simply. I didn't wait for an answer and looked to Watanabe. "This is your concert. Is all this okay with you?"

He was grinning, "Yeah, let's do it."

If Kujikawa wanted me to put my best effort into this, for it to be fair, then I would do just that. I was not going to hold back, but at the end of this concert. I would never have to see any of them ever again.

* * *

 _December 14th, 2011 / After School  
_ _Junes Food Court_

 ** _RISE'S POINT OF VIEW_**

"So I want to ask for all of your help," I gave them a short bow as I was standing at the end of the table after explaining the plan for the performance. "I'm going to be talking to my manager tomorrow to arrange it with the agency so the details should be easy enough to smooth out."

"Wait so Ikakure wants us to also perform?" Naoto asked.

"Yes, though he wouldn't say exactly how you guys would be involved, he did say it would be something that would make the concert a lot better. And we are short on time. So we split shortly after we made the decisions so that we could prepare for rehearsals," I knew we had a lot to do but through all of this I couldn't stop thinking about his words to me. Ones I tried to ignore and didn't think too much about it at the time. But after some time they just kept coming back. _I do this and I never want to see you again._ I expected him to react in that fashion but I didn't realize he would be so direct in how he felt. Or how it would affect me.

"I say we do it," Yu spoke up. "I assume it'll be on Christmas Eve, right? I think it would be a great opportunity for us to spend time together. And to be able to perform with Kujikawa once more."

"Well she is going back into show business," Kanji scratched the back of his head. "Also Senpai is leaving in a few months so I think it would be fun."

"I'm sure Dad will be okay with it. But if your agency is getting involved they'll probably be talking to him as well," Yosuke pointed out.

That was true. They would probably want to be more involved which is why I needed to ensure them that this was the last thing I was doing as part of the school, "Possible, though I'll try and convince them this is just a school thing and not let it get too big. Last thing we need is to overload Junes with people from out of town."

"I think it would be fine either way," Yukiko weighed in. "Even if people come from out of town it would be good for the town."

"Putting it that way, that would make it rough for the Inn wouldn't it? Especially if people are coming to see it," Chie had a good point.

"It'll be fine. If that happens we'll just have to get some help," Yukiko said with a smile.

Chie immediately groaned, "You're going to make us help if that happens..."

"So we're all in agreement?" Yu asked to bring us to a decision.

"While I am not excited about performing, I am sure it can't be as bad as the Yasogami Pageant," Naoto sighed. She hadn't been thrilled about being entered in that… even though she had ended up winning the pageant it was still something she didn't like thinking about. I couldn't help but giggle at the thought.

"Yeah, let's do it," Kanji said flexing his arm.

"Thank you guys," I smiled and then pulled my jacket tighter around myself. "I'm sorry about the short notice but I do need to get going. I need to call my manager and let him know about all of this."

Naoto took this moment to stand up, "I'll walk with you. I need to be heading home anyway."

"I'll text you all later tonight with the details of the practice schedule," I said before I walked off with Naoto following not too far behind. We entered the elevator to head down to the entrance of Junes. "I think I know what you are going to ask."

"This was your idea to try and get him involved but I don't think you were prepared for him to actually accept," Naoto knew me probably better than any of the others. "My only real question is why did he accept?"

I hung my head as the elevator doors closed and it began to move, "His conditions were that after doing this he never wants to see me again." I could feel a weight of emotions converging onto me by saying those words. Tears threatened to well up because of it.

She didn't respond but after a moment she took my hand, "It's alright."

"How is it alright?" I found myself saying louder than I thought I did. My emotions barely in check. I could feel it, I wanted to cry. I've wanted to do so ever since he said those words so harshly. The elevator door opened and I moved out but Naoto stayed at my side and did not let go of my hand. "He knew me by just listening to me. Just hearing my music and it feels like he can see right through me but... he hates me! Every time he looks at me I feel vulnerable. I don't know why but it hurts knowing that he likes my music but wants nothing to do with me."

We left Junes and were walking down the street now. The brisk cold air was comforting in a strange way as we continued on towards the shopping district. Naoto was still holding my hand, trying to comfort me. After a moment she let go so we could put our hands in our pockets to keep our hands warm.

"I don't think he hates you but it's true that he probably doesn't want anything to do with you. I just don't believe it's for the reasons you are thinking," Naoto walked close to me. I felt that my emotions were wavering because I just couldn't get his words out of my head. "Just based on what you told me the night before and what happened today...I think you already know why he is doing this."

I looked at her for a moment and then mentally kicked myself as the answer dawned on me. Of course. I do know why he was doing this. The song I heard him sing… the argument between him and his Mother. It all made sense if I just took a moment to think about it. I stopped walking for a moment, "He doesn't believe I'll be around. That I'll just disappear and never see or talk to him again."

"Yeah, I think that is the truth. He's protecting himself by setting a condition. That way he knows what to expect, so he can't be hurt," Naoto stood in front of me. "You made this choice to get involved with him. You still have a choice here. You can follow his condition and forget him after this is over, or you go out of your way to be a part of his life. Do you even know if that is worth it? You can't know. Use this time to get to know him. To see how you feel. Just know that whatever you choose, someone is likely to get hurt. And I think the one most likely to be hurt is you."

That really was the truth of the situation. The performance was one part of it, but what did I really want? What was it about him that made me unable to just forget about it? Was it his song? The combination of him playing the piano and his voice was something that just refused to leave my mind, no matter what I tried. That had to be a part of it. His past was tragic but that wasn't as much as a factor. Well, I couldn't dismiss that it might have a bit to do with it. No, I needed much more than just fascination or interest in his songs. So far he had only tried to get away from me. "That's why I wanted to get him to do this concert. It's something I know he has an interest in. If I want to have a chance for him to open up to me then… this was the best way. Plus he is a senior so he doesn't have much time before he graduates."

"Not a bad idea. If there was any chance of him opening up, it would be doing something he cares about," Naoto agreed. "Rise, just be careful. As cruel as it may sound, you have no obligation to try and help him open up. I don't want you to be hurt."

I knew why she was saying this. "I know," I moved around her and we both started walking again. "I could have easily let myself stay closed in. But thanks to all of you, I felt welcome and I feel like I found myself again because of it. None of you had any obligations to make me feel welcome either, but you did. I think that could be said for most of us that have become such close friends. Maybe Ikakure really doesn't want us, and if that is the case then after this, nothing will change. He'll go on to do whatever he wants and so will we. I think I can be satisfied with it if that is how it turns out. Even if I get hurt along the way. At the very least I will know that I tried. If he is pushing me away because he's afraid of getting hurt… if he really wants that connection, then I feel like I have to try. And I have to accept whatever comes from my actions. Maybe it is because he was integral to my career starting that I feel like I have to do something. I know I'm not obligated to return anything to him because of it but I don't think I can let go of what I saw."

"When you heard him singing," Naoto stated and I nodded to confirm.

"Even now, I can't get it outta my head. I don't think I have ever felt that way before. When I heard him, I was amazed but at the same time I felt sad. Actually, I don't think that is quite right either… it's hard to describe," I kept walking trying to keep my emotions under control. "I want to hear more, I want to know more about him."

"Rise...are you falling for him? A guy that has only continually made it clear he doesn't want to be near you..." Naoto obviously was concerned but her words weren't wrong in either respect.

"Maybe it's because he's honest. He can see right through my words. I don't know but I'm going to keep moving on this path I've decided to go," I said and moved a bit faster to avoid eye contact with Naoto for just a moment to collect my thoughts. Ikakure Kayane could look right through my facade and saw me for who I really was. He could see the real me. And maybe it was that reason alone that continued to pull me closer to him, even as he tried to push me away.

And a part of me would never settle for that look of sadness in his eyes. What I truly wanted to see was him smile.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I won't waste your time with an Author's Note. This story mostly speaks for itself. Mostly because it isn't very long. The story as a whole sits around 40k words which was really a lot longer than I originally intended, but that's okay. Anyway, here is part 2 of 4. The next part will be up later tonight. I hope you enjoy it.**


	3. Part 3

**_Part 3_**

 _December 15th, 2011 / After School  
_ _Yasogami Music Room_

Due to my own suggestions the music room had even more people than before. This time filled with the friends of Kujikawa Rise. I had made more than enough copies of the music for everyone, depending if they were involved with the song of not. They all took copies and were looking it over before we officially began. Meanwhile I was busy tuning the piano. It seemed like it was still in the same state it was when we had given it to him. Did nobody even realize it? One of the B notes was a bit flat. I moved around and opened the piano so I could adjust it. I yawned a bit as I tightened one of the strings and then went back and tested the note. Better, but not ideal. I got up to adjust it one more time.

"Ikakure, did you really do all this last night?" Watanabe asked. I looked at him before I adjusted the piano.

"Yeah, I did," I brush it off as I moved back to the keys and hit the B note once more. It was no good… I would need my tools to properly tune the piano, still I tightened the string in question once more. I played the note again. It would have to do for now. I could bring my tools and get it properly adjusted tomorrow. I used to do it all the time. One of the things I learned because of my desire for self sustainment when it came to music. Mom taught me how to tune it a few years ago, and before long I took care of all the tuning when it needed to happen. I turned my attention back to Watanabe, "Like I said yesterday, most of it is changes in tempo, not anything with the song. The only one with real additions is likely Osagawa but most of what he plays are still just plays on the main melody."

"How long did this take you?" Watanabe pressed.

What did he want? Me to admit that I was up all night doing the changes and playing it for myself? It didn't really matter. Plus Mom was out of town for work so it was a good opportunity to get it all worked out without her asking questions. "It doesn't matter. If everyone could look it over I can cover any questions you have. We may have to adjust some of the songs as we practice so it's likely to change."

"So this last song is the only one we are involved in?" one of Kujikawa's friends asked. He had silver hair, and seemed like the confident sort of guy.

"That's right and everyone will be singing on that song," I sat down at the piano and began organizing my sheet music.

"So five songs and we all sing in the last one?" another one of Kujikawa's friends asked. They had all introduced themselves but I hadn't really been paying attention to them. She had black hair and stood to the silver haired guy.

"Yes, that is the plan. At that point of the concert all of you will have been seen as ushers and staff so it will surprise to the crowd when you all start singing," I spoke somewhat annoyed that my intention wasn't obvious.

"Let me go over some things. Ikakure, since you are the one that made the alterations to the music, I'll leave it to you to plan the way practices will go," Watanabe spoke up. "I'll be working with Hanamura-san on the details of the stage setup and possible merchandise to sell along with the concert. Kujikawa, would you mind acting as the hostess for the concert?"

"Absolutely," Kujikawa nodded with a smile. This smile seemed more real than the one before...

"Thoughts to the rehearsal schedule?" Watanabe asked me.

I sighed for a moment, "In order to maximize our time, as we only have nine days, we will be practicing on our own. The exception to this is Kujikawa. She will be practicing with me so she can learn the changes I made and I can hopefully adjust the song before we practice all together. The next four days will be for self practice so try to memorize your part before day five. After that we will start group rehearsals up until the day of performance." The last thing I cared for was to end up spending more time with her but I couldn't avoid it and get the optimal performance possible. It was only a few days so it could be much worse. "It also lets Osagawa and Aizawa have a few days to adjust their schedule so they can be here. Also on the 23rd I am suggesting we have the final rehearsal at my house and we will run through the whole concert a few times."

I know Kujikawa was going to have a mixed reaction to my plan but anyone was more than able to disagree with what I had proposed. Most of it was just based on how I like to do things anyway. And I would prefer everyone knew their parts before we all practiced together or it would ultimately be just a waste of time.

"So is this going to be a short day then?" Osagawa asked.

"First we're going to go over proper voice warm-ups for everyone. Kujikawa doesn't really need it but I doubt many of you know how to properly warm up your voice," I said as I played a scale on the piano to test the notes. "These are warm-ups you should do before singing. You shouldn't need my help to do this. Kujikawa could likely demonstrate this for you."

The next half hour I explained the process of vocal warm-ups. From posture, to useful stretches as well as liquids they should drink, and ones to stay away from. After warm-ups were finally finished and they all seemed to understand how it worked I went over the last song. I briefly went over the tempo they needed to aim for. I told them it was fine if they couldn't match it for now and that the rehearsals was when we would fine tune the performance. They need only to memorize their parts. Everyone started to leave with Watanabe talking with Hanamura and leaving along with most of Kujikawa's other friends she had brought. I was gathering up my sheet notes when I realized someone else was still here. I doubt I needed to guess exactly who that was.

"So, are we going to be practicing here?" Kujikawa asked as I was putting the music sheets into a folder.

"No, it will be at my place. Is that going to be a problem for you?" I didn't look at her as I put the folder into my bag.

"No. What about you?" Kujikawa asked and understandably sounded irritated at me being short with her. That was fine with me. "Aren't you going to be inconvenienced having me around?"

"Whatever, I only have to deal with you up until Christmas and then I'm done," I closed my bag and slung it over my shoulder. I turned and found myself looking right at Kujikawa. She definitely looked like she had more she wanted to say. I moved past her towards the exit, not giving her a chance to start speaking. "Come on, we're heading out."

We walked all the way to my place in complete silence. I was only ignoring her but it was a bit unsettling. She had been smiling and enjoying herself during the practice but as soon as everyone was gone… What was I expecting with the way I was treating her? I had definitely soured her mood. So we didn't talk to each other until we stepped in the studio room in my home. Looks like Mom wasn't home either.

"We'll go through each song and do a basic rundown. Just sing it how you want and I'll try to match you," I said this as I pulled the music sheets back out from my bag and sat at the piano.

"Senpai, do you hate me this much?" her voice trembled and it sent a shiver down my spine.

I looked to her and saw a sight I did not expect. Rise had tears falling from her face. I couldn't find any words to say to this sudden vision of her. This was because of how I had been treating her. The words I had said. She had the right to be upset at me. But did she actually care? Or was it just because she felt everyone should like her? That wasn't the issue here… she knows that.

"After everything you've said about my music… why do you want nothing to do with me!? Why!? You're saying that after this concert I can't see you ever again? It's because of you that I am even here to begin with. Don't you get it!? You changed my life! But all you want is me out of your life?" Her words and tone didn't surprise me. Her tears and emotion was something that I hadn't expected though. No, what surprised me more was the rise in my own emotions in response.

"You are going to disappear anyway!" I yelled back. Why was I so angry? Either way I couldn't stop myself from pressing on. "You're the one who doesn't get it! I'm graduating in three months and I'm sick and tired of people that say they care. Where the fuck do you think those people are now? They gave up on me. That's all anyone ever does because I am nothing but some stupid pity case to them. Just someone to feel sorry for. The only one that gives a damn about me is my Mother."

"You won't even give me a chance! You closed me off right from the beginning! You can't possibly know what I'll do if you just shut me down from the start! If I did something wrong, then please tell me," Kujikawa stepped forward but I flinched a bit and looked away.

"I have anxiety attacks," I said it so easily. Something that only my Mom had really known about. But anyone that knew me after a while would definitely learn about my problems. "I started to hyperventilate when you got so close to me, and it's why I fell down the stairs. Not your fault, you couldn't have known. It isn't like I spend time talking to anyone. It's hard for me to be close to anyone. Yet I stupidly agreed to help with this Goddamn concert. I'm not going to do well on stage."

"Why not say that? Why do you try so hard to keep people at a distance?" She asks a question that was likely obvious.

"Because people are the reason I hate my fucking life!" I glared at her for only a moment before I found myself standing up from the piano. "My life is filled with people telling me that they'll help. Professionals and adults that all talk like they understand what I've been through. Like I'm just a puzzle to be solved and then returned to the wild. But that's just it! All they care about is what I went through, not about me! They just see someone that was beaten by his Uncle, has a ton of scars and likely just someone they want to do a psychological study on. Everyone just pities me, they don't see me."

"But I do!" Rise yelled back and she stepped towards me. "I don't care about your past. I care about you, right now."

I stopped and looked at her. I wasn't surprised, "I guess you read up on me, huh?" Her eyes got big for a moment but I waved my hand. "It's public record. It isn't like I was hiding it. The news was all over when both trials were going on. It got more attention thanks to my Uncle being a public figure and Miyuki's Father being a police officer. A quick Internet search is all you really need."

"Your Mother said some things that led to me finding out. I wanted to know more about you. About why you… stormed out the way you did. When you fought with your Mother," She was rubbing her arm and looking away from me. I take it she wasn't sure how I would react considering my usual demeanor when I am around her. "After I heard you play the piano and sing..." She then looked right into my eyes. "To be honest, I haven't been able to get you out of my head."

"So I expect that after your fascination is over you'll do well to leave me behind," I comment and find myself moving past her.

She grabbed my arm, "What if it became more than that? What would you do if I confessed to you? Would you turn me down without even blinking an eye?"

My arm tensed up and her grip felt tighter around my arm than it likely was. I took a deep breath as I felt myself shaking more and more. "Just look at me… all you are doing is touching my arm but I've locked up and I started shaking." In response she noted that and let go of me. I took a few deep breaths to get calm again, "Who is going to fall in love with someone that they can't even get close to?"

"I didn't realize… I'm sorry," Kujikawa quickly apologized.

"It isn't like I've been up front with my issues," I said as I moved back to the piano. "Don't waste your time on me, Kujikawa. I'm not worth it."

"So you continually act dismissive to me so that I won't get close to you?" Kujikawa said this more under her breath and it was obvious I wasn't meant to respond. Then she moved to the side of the piano, "What if I don't give up? What if I think you're worth it."

"You'll give up," I begin playing the piano. "Everyone gives up on me in time."

* * *

 _December 17th, 2011 / Evening  
_ _Chinese Diner Aiya_

 ** _RISE'S POINT OF VIEW_**

"Ever since then we've been rehearsing, but I can't get myself to say anything more to him… Maybe I shouldn't try but..." I found myself pouting as I looked at my beef bowl in front of me. Which I had topped with probably too many spices. I was so frustrated at rehearsal with Kayane that I hadn't really paid attention to how many spices I added to it. Whatever, I could use something extra spicy right now.

"So you want to get close to him, but you know it causes problems for him. So you've ended up doing nothing," Naoto summed up my issues in a concise manner. Something she was rather talented at doing. Maybe not too surprising as she was a detective. "This isn't something that has a quick or clear solution, Rise. Although continuing to challenge your boundaries with him is one way to do that."

"Challenge my boundaries? Like getting close to him or something?" I took a drink of water.

"It's a method. So is bringing up hard topics. If you want things to change then you can't allow your interactions to fall into a pattern. Especially when your time with him is limited," Naoto spoke matter-of-factly but something felt off with how she said it.

I picked up my chopsticks and casually took a bite of my beef bowl as a thought crossed my mind, "You want me to stop, don't you?" The taste of the spices was more satisfying than I thought it would be.

"I will admit that the thought has crossed my mind," Naoto said before taking a bite of her own beef bowl. After she swallowed she clarified, "I'm concerned on what you expect to get from your time with him. And now he's all you talk about when we're together. The others see it too. You have a crush on him."

I stopped mid-bite for a moment as I heard her words. After a moment I kept eating and took another few bites as I considered what she meant. A crush. It was a fascination, a attraction. It was like being at a crossroad and unsure of which direction to move. Where there was no real wrong answer. They were choices. If I continued on this path then it meant committing to it, regardless of the potential outcome. Was I willing to be hurt? Like Naoto had told me before. I had no obligation to help him… Could I really do that? Just walk away to protect myself? Or do I let myself fall deeper? Do I try to get closer to him?

"I've been thinking about that a lot," I tell her and put my chopsticks down for a moment to drink more water. After a drink I sighed and leaned back a bit. "I am going to put my all into this. Even if it hurts me. If I just protected myself and walked away from him... I know I would regret it. I feel like my heart is breaking seeing him this way. He actively rejects everything. And yet his music calls out to people. There is a contradiction he is showing but he likely isn't consciously aware of."

"Looks like you remembered what I was talking about before," Naoto stated and looked over to me. "How far are you willing to go? To fall in love with him? To become his girlfriend?"

It was a pointed question that I needed to answer. So I tried to imagine it… myself with Ikakure. As I did a glaring thing seemed to be missing. What did he look like when he smiled? That bothered me a lot more than I realized. I had never seen him smile. Could I do it though? Love him? Be his girlfriend? He was actually pretty attractive. His black hair and deep blue eyes just had a way of pulling me in, even as he did his best to keep me away. Then another thought crossed my mind. I _wanted_ to be closer to him. I wanted to know all about him… about who he was and what he liked. More than just the music he listened to or what he sings. What was his favorite color? Favorite book? Favorite food? Does he hate waiting in lines? Does he like shopping or avoid it? There had never been anyone I wanted to know all of these answers and more… In a way, I suppose I had come to my answer. I looked back at Naoto, "Yeah, I am. If becoming his girlfriend is a way I can get through to him, I'll do it. Are you against that?"

"No," Naoto shook her head. "I'm just worried. But if that is what you have decided then I will support you. Even though you might be setting yourself up only to get hurt."

"I owe you a lot, Naoto," I found myself saying. "After I moved here I wasn't sure how I was going to recover. I mean Narukami-senpai and the others helped a lot. They helped me dodge the media and well… treated me just like a normal girl, not some big time idol. Then when you came to the school… I feel like you grounded me even more than the others. And it's how I realized that it wasn't that people didn't see the real me. The truth was I had never been sure who I was to begin with. Once I realized that, I was finally able to look more objectively at my career. What I liked and disliked about the events leading to my decision to quit. I love everyone and how close we've all become. It's a dream come true for me. Everyone helped me without even knowing it. But it was you that I finally spoke to about everything. You're really easy to speak to and you are always honest."

"That is more of a byproduct of being a detective but all the same I owe you just as much Rise. I'm no longer trying to be something I'm not. I'll see how far I can go as a female detective," Naoto smiled but then shook her head. "Regardless of what has happened up to this point, I suspected you wouldn't be able to let Ikakure-senpai stay as he is. I went over his case files more in depth since we first talked about it and also made some phone calls. There was a few things I learned. Apparently the therapy sessions he went to stopped having any affect when he was younger. Instead his answers became dismissive and gave them responses that clearly indicated he did not want help. They eventually ran out of options… and ever since then his Mother has sought out different specialists around the country to try and find a way to help him. It seems music is the only thing he responded positively to."

"Then maybe that is how I have to reach him...is through music," I picked up my chopsticks once more and turned back to my meal. I wonder what I could do to break through his defenses.

"It would likely net you the best results," Naoto added as she continued to eat her beef bowl. "I should also tell you that what I found came from case studies done on Ikakure-senpai. Most are published articles that don't explicitly call out anything he went through. But it's clear that no matter how much we know he went through it can't tell us how it has affected him psychologically. He admitted to you that he has anxiety attacks, and it's caused by proximity. But there has to be more than that."

I wanted to know why too. The cause seemed to be somewhat obvious though, so I told her my assumption. "Do you think he just reacts to proximity because he thinks someone is going to hit him? That's probably too basic of an explanation though."

"I would imagine it is a combination of fears. Fear of abuse is definitely one, but I wouldn't be surprised if abandonment was a part of it," Naoto spoke in a softer tone.

"Tsukio Miyuki, was the girl that died and also who saved him from his predicament. Maybe it was losing her that made him so distant… and fearful of getting close to anyone. He doesn't want to be touched because he fears any comfort he gets will only be taken away," The thought settled in my mind as I considered everything I knew of Ikakure Kayane. "He doesn't believe he deserves it, doesn't believe anyone could ever want to truly care or comfort him. Naoto, he's lost the will to live."

Naoto didn't say anything as she seemed to be finishing her beef bowl. She placed her chopsticks down and then looked over to me. "He did try to commit suicide. Why do you believe he hasn't tried to do so again?"

Why? I had been thinking of all the things that had done to him. And yet his suicide attempt had been a clear way for him to escape his thoughts and life that he obviously felt he had no reason living for. But he clearly… the thought came to my mind, "His Mom. He is living for his Mom."

"What do you think he'll do after he graduates? Stay home? Or is he moving away? Without his Mom around or in his everyday life… what do you think will happen to him?" Naoto hung her head. "Rise, what if there is no longer someone to save? What if he is simply biding his time, to find a place to die?"

"NO!" I stood up and found myself shaking my head. "I won't let him!"

"Rise, you need to realize that what you can actually do is very limited. What will you do when you are an Idol again? What happens when you're away from him? Do you think just being his girlfriend or his lover is enough to help him? You know that isn't true. At this rate, he is going to hurt you. And the more you allow yourself to be overcome with the notion of saving him, you aren't helping him, or yourself," Naoto was more direct than she had been.

"But I have to!" I realized I was raising my voice and sat back down. "Naoto, I don't know how to describe to you what I heard. Maybe it is hopeless, maybe I'm just going to hurt myself. Maybe it will only lead to me crying over and over again. But when he sang, that voice was not of someone who wanted to die. It was of someone desperately trying to find a reason to live."

"Then, you're already in love with him," Naoto said softly. "Rise…"

Naoto's statement hit me like a bucket of ice cold water. I shook my head, "It doesn't matter if that is true or not. I'm going to do all I can…"

"I know that," Naoto then gave me a smile. "I don't think I've ever seen you so emotional about anything. I guess that could be viewed as a good thing. Either way, you have my support. If you're sure about this, and how far you're willing to go. I won't stand in your way."

"Thanks, Naoto-chan," I smiled. The only thought I had now was exactly what I would do to change the status quo with Kayane.

* * *

 _December 18th, 2011 / Afternoon  
_ _Kayane's House_

 ** _RISE'S POINT OF VIEW_**

It was the last time we would be rehearsing on our own. So if I was going to push him in anyway… tonight would be the best time to do so. I just didn't have a clue as to what I should do to accomplish what I wanted.

I felt we had already nailed the songs. It was more about fine tuning the songs from this point forward. For the moment, I was approaching the front door of Ikakure-senpai's home. Today was not a school day but a Sunday. So I wore something more casual, just some blue jeans and a pink halter top with a heart design. My hair I had in its usual pigtails. I almost did that in my sleep. It almost felt odd to be without them.

Wait… this would also be a time I could see Ikakure in something that wasn't his school uniform. That was… exciting.

I knocked softly on the door. After a moment it slid open and I was welcomed by Ikakure's Mother.

"Rise-chan, it's nice to see you. Come in," She smiled and let me in. I stepped in and quickly pulled off my shoes and placed it next to the door with the other shoes. "Kay-chan ran to the store, but he'll be back in a moment. Can we talk for a moment?"

I hadn't talked to her since the night I had come over for dinner. Since then she had been out of town for business. I felt my heart starting to beat faster as I thought about what she might want to say to me. I followed her into the living room and sat on my knees at the table as Tsukio-san poured tea for the two of us.

"I..." She started but then stopped to push a cup towards me. She then took a deep breath, "Let me just say I'm not mad in any way. Surprised maybe, but not mad. If anything... it's hard to describe what I'm feeling. So I'll start with a question. How did you get him to do the concert?"

I took the tea cup and gently held it, allowing it to warm my hands. "I cornered him, to be honest. I revealed to his class what his talents were and told the Music Club President that I would only do the concert if he was involved. I also told them that having the son of Tsukio Nanase be a part of the concert would make it easier to convince my agency to let me do the performance. Which is true."

"And he agreed to do it?" she pressed.

"On the condition that I never talk to him again," I said this softly but felt a pain in my chest as I did so. Every day made it harder that I potentially would have to walk away from him. But like Naoto had pointed out to me. I was in love with him… or something very close to that emotion. It didn't matter to me if that was how I felt. I just needed to focus on doing what I could now.

Tsukio smiled a bit, "If that was a condition then you must have really affected him."

"Um, after that night I was here for dinner, I found out about his past. About the court cases… and his suicide attempt from a friend of mine. I wasn't sure exactly why but I can't just walk away. I talked with my friend just so I could realize if I was doing it for the right reason or not. I don't think it is that simple though," I took a drink from the tea before putting it onto the table.

"Nothing is ever simple when it comes to Kay-chan. None of it is his fault. I was constantly gone in that time period when everything happened. I would come home and take Miyuki and Kayane out together. Those two were inseparable during the day. I never realized what was happening to those kids. My ex-husband and Kayane's Uncle were solely to blame. In Miyuki's diary she had stated her desire to save Kayane on her own, and didn't want to cause trouble for me. Silly girl. I have many regrets for not being there when my daughter needed me. And for Kay-chan. His life has been full of bad luck. Losing his parents in an accident and leaving him with his Uncle when he was only three years old. As it turned out his Uncle took out the anger of losing his brother on Kay-chan. It doesn't make it right, especially with the amount of abuse he inflicted on him. Kayane deserves so much more than what he's experienced so far in his life. I've been trying for years to find a way to make that boy smile," Tsukio held a sad smile before taking a drink of tea. "It's been over ten years and I've only had glimpses of it. I would give anything to see him happy but I've come to realize over time that I won't be the one to do that."

"I'm determined to try," I kept my eyes down at the table, not confident to meet her gaze head on. Naoto had spoken against it but ultimately decided to support me. "I can't hope to understand what he went through in his life. My difficulties were much different and not worth comparing. But if it was my music and voice that got through to him once… then maybe I can again. Thanks to my friends I believe I can show him that I have that same belief and feelings I had when I recorded Star Bright. Maybe if I can show him that sincerity… he won't push me away."

"Rise-chan," her tone was soft and I looked back to her to see her smiling, one that was meant to comfort me. "I don't know why you came to this decision but I'm too selfish to stop you. If you can make him smile for even a moment, I would owe you far more than I could ever say."

I wanted to add how I wanted to see how he looked with a smile on his face. Watching Ikakure play the piano was the only time I felt that he was truly himself. Even when we rehearsed, when he got lost in the song and I was singing it was when he was most at ease… when he wasn't as conscious of my presence. And it was in those brief moments that I felt I truly connected with him.

"I'm home," it was Ikakure's voice coming from the entrance. After a moment he appeared in the hallway. I blinked for a moment as I registered what I was seeing. From head to toe he was covered in black. Black boots that he hadn't bothered to take off. His pants were also adorned with silver chains and he had on a long sleeve black shirt with a high collar. More distinguishing still was on his left hand. His middle finger had something on it? I'd seen one before it was called a claw ring. Wait… what about his appearance that was so familiar to me? Then it connected in the back of my mind. I had seen him like this before. It was months ago, back in August. Back when we were doing the concert at Junes… the small one song performance that honestly didn't attract many people but it had been a lot of fun. During all that I saw a TV special about troubled teens that had really gotten on my nerves. One of the kids that had been highlighted had been from Inaba. Obviously they never said who it was but now it could only be one person. Ikakure Kayane had been labeled a troubled teen based on nothing more than the clothes he was wearing. While what he wore today wasn't the exact same outfit, there was no mistake that the person in that TV special had been him. Now I was finding myself irritated at that TV program all over again.

"Welcome back, Kay-chan. I was just entertaining Rise-chan while you were out," Tsukio said.

He looked at me for a moment and then started walking off, "I'll put the groceries in the kitchen. I'll be in the music room. Come on back when you're ready." Then he disappeared from view and down the hall.

"Don't think too harshly about how he speaks. Though I suspect you have a good idea why he speaks the way he does now," She got to her feet. "If anyone has a chance to get through to Kay-chan, it's you." Tsukio then left, obviously heading towards the kitchen to likely put the groceries away.

Left alone, I pick up my tea and took another drink. The tea was warm, not hot. It was at a good temperature that was actually good for warming up your voice. And it wasn't sweetened or had anything harmful for the throat. I shouldn't expect less in a household like this. A house full of music. On the surface it would be out of the ordinary for a woman like Tsukio Nanase to have a studio in her home. She was generally used as a producer and had a keen ear for musical talent. She was often used now in a consultation type position. She was highly valued so she likely didn't hurt for work. It wasn't like that work called for having a studio. But I could guess why.

If she had a studio here, she could also do other aspects of her work without having to go into town. Without having to leave Ikakure-senpai by himself. She could record possible alterations or suggestions and send them back without having to leave home. And it seemed like it was a room that was easily Ikakure-senpai's favorite in the house. Building the studio had been worth the extra money it had no doubt cost Tsukio-san. I put the tea cup down on the table.

Figuring out a way to get through to Senpai wouldn't be easy. Plus today was the last day we would be rehearsing on our own. I didn't have the luxury of time. What I needed to do was something drastic. Something that would grab his attention immediately. A thought crossed my mind. I blinked as I considered the idea for a moment, "Would he react?" I mouth the question as I realized it likely wouldn't be that out of the question… I didn't have the time to feel out his opinions. So assaulting his senses with this idea could work. But I would have to run home to grab what I needed. Maybe I could head back when we took a break?

I got to my feet and headed towards the music room. Sounds of the piano were filling the house and I saw him there, not playing any of the Christmas music but obviously his own. His eyes were closed and as his hands danced along the keys. It was moments like this one when I felt I could truly see him. The man that was hiding in the depths of himself. The Ikakure Kayane that sought to hide from the world. All in an effort to protect himself… to protect his heart that was covered in thorns. One way or another, I wanted to break through his defenses and pull those thorns away. Then maybe I could be the one to help repair his wounded heart. My first goal… force him to have no choice but to pay attention to me.

* * *

 _December 18th, 2011 / Evening  
_ _Kayane's House_

Kujikawa had certainly been more motivated than usual today. She had memorized the songs, but also knew them enough now to actually play with the melody and change some of the notes as she sung. The songs were sounding more like that of Risette, and her real voice. She sung with heart and more emotion than I had expected. It was more surprising when I realized how different she sounded today. Maybe hearing her so close to me was harder than I had imagined.

I thought all of this would be simple and then life would just go back to normal. After this one single performance I would never have to deal with Rise or anyone else ever again. I didn't need anyone in my life. Besides relationships from high school tended to be tenuous at best. It was pretty rare to keep those friends later on in life. Generally, you will only have two or three friends that might stand the test of time. But many you say goodbye to at your High School Graduation you will never see again.

Getting close to anyone is ultimately pointless. There wasn't any benefit… especially for me. Everything in life ultimately led to only one outcome. Death. What was the point in moving in a facade that life had some bigger meaning. Life had been nothing but a joke ever since Miyuki died. Her death brought a number of uncomfortable truths to me. I hadn't really understood what it meant to die until then. When I was told my parents were dead and that my Uncle was all I had, I thought they were just gone. I was stupidly idealistic and thought that they were just on some trip and eventually I would see them again. The emotional and actual impact of losing a life didn't mean anything to me at that age. Not until the one person that had been the most important to me was gone.

I felt my body tense up as my thoughts looked to the past. I was flooded by images of Miyuki. Her smile, her words. Nights where she would lay my head in her lap and comfort me after my Uncle had beat me. I even could see the worst of memories. The look in her eyes when she knew that her Father was home… waiting for her. And the tears that fell from her face when she lied to me… when she told me she was okay. I hated that the most. I hated lies.

"Ikakure-senpai, I'm back," Kujikawa's voice came from the doorway.

I didn't turn to her and instead moved to the piano. Why did I always have to think about Miyuki? Now my body was tense and it would affect my performance. And I was supposed to somehow perform in front of a crowd? How was this ever going to work? Why? Why was I even doing this?

"So why was it that you had to go-" I turned to her but my words caught in my throat the moment I saw her. Kujikawa was dressed in something I would have never expected for her to wear. She had on knee high black boots, a skirt that only went slightly past her thighs and a long sleeve top, all of it was black. There was black lace around the end of her skirt and the sleeves of the shirt, and at her waist was a black belt… it looked like leather. Wearing that was one thing but she had also styled her hair into a single long ponytail and had applied makeup to darken her features and match the overall look. I had gone slack-jawed and found that for the moment I had been rendered speechless.

"Do I have your attention now?" Kujikawa walked slowly and purposefully up to the piano as I just gawked at her like an idiot. "Senpai, I want to talk."

This was all deliberate, I knew that, but I didn't get it. "About what, exactly?" I got to my feet, and I took extra care to not let my eyes wander. Since when have I ever wanted to ogle at a girl before? This was ridiculous. "Why are you dressed like that?"

"I wanted your undivided attention. And over the last couple days it's been rehearsal and then you kick me out. I figured since today is Sunday I'd have a better chance of getting you to listen. And I had this little number in my closet from something I did a while ago. Not that you would have seen it. You've made it pretty clear that you don't care about anything else but music. Except, I don't believe that's true. That is just something you've convinced yourself to be true over the years. Isn't that right?" Rise stepped closer to me. I could see frustration in her expression. I knew she wouldn't be content for my conditions of the concert, but I didn't expect her to be so forward like this.

"So what?" I felt some irritation and looked away from her. Which took more effort than I would want to admit. "Why should you even care? Why pull me into this concert? You're just going back into the Idol industry so it isn't like you'll ever see me again. I don't get you at all. There is nothing to be gained by you doing this."

"Nothing to be gained?" Rise then moved into my vision by kneeling down and putting her hand up to my face and gently touching the side of my face. "Let me tell you about something." She put her hand down after a moment. She was sitting on her knees and looking up at me. This time when she spoke her tone was softer than previously. I didn't look away from her this time. Something inside me told me I couldn't. "I have spent my life with people telling me what I wanted to hear. My agent, Producers, photographers, teachers and even my fans made me disillusioned with my own life. To them...I couldn't do anything wrong. From a certain point of view… as long as I was making money I guess it's true. Playing on a big stage and thousands of people chanting my name for me to sing and dance. But even with all that attention they gave me they never really gave me what I truly needed in my life. If they had then I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have felt like I was invisible on a stage when I looked out into that crowd."

"What does any of that have to do with me?" I know she was going somewhere with it but why bother? My mind could not wrap around the possibility that she would care for me. I just didn't get it.

"Is it really that hard to figure out? Come on, Senpai. Think about it. I was around people all the time and they never had a suspicion that something was wrong with me. They were so surprised when I decided to leave the business. It was a shock… that was how they put it," Rise then looked directly into my eyes. "When you heard the news… what did you think?"

When I had heard it? That was right, I did hear about it a week or so after the announcement that she would be taking a break. The thoughts I had then had been different. "I thought that it made sense. So you'd have time to maybe find yourself and-" I stopped as Rise smiled at me and I think I understood why.

"Why do you think I care about you, Senpai? Why did I pull you into this concert? Don't you understand what it is I am gaining by spending time with you? Maybe it doesn't make a lot of sense to you. But Senpai, you saw me for who I am," she shook her head then corrected herself. "No, that isn't quite right. You heard it in my voice. You knew before you had even met me. Without even being around me or even being aware of what I did day to day. But you weren't surprised by my announcement. You probably thoughts something like...it's about time she took a break. Am I right?"

It made more sense than I wanted to admit. She was a lot more thoughtful than I thought she would be if I ever met her. I had never wanted to meet the one behind Star Bright. But now… after I had… could I really just let things end in such a horrible way? Telling her that I never wanted anything to do with her. When the truth was I was just scared. Scared what would I begin to think after she inevitably left me behind.

I could no longer hold her gaze and looked away from her, "I thought you would hate me because I called you a liar. What do you want me to say to that? To take back my condition for the concert? What would be the point of that? I'm going to be graduating in just three months and you are going to be returning to the Idol business… not to mention still in High School. Even without my condition to this whole concert we still would likely never see each other again in just a few months."

"I know," Rise's voice held a softer tone and after a moment I felt her hand gently touch my own. I looked back to her as she fully took my hand into her own. "You don't want to be involved with someone that just disappears. I know that."

"I guess," I found myself looking at her and unconsciously took in her whole outfit once more. Then I pulled my hand away as I turned back to the piano. "Nothing about life is predictable. Miyuki made things less predictable. She and Mom were the only ones I had in my life. My Uncle did give a couple of things I would consider thanking him for. My piano lessons and the freedom of allowing me to spend time with Miyuki. Other than that the rest of my time was well scheduled. My room was a nightmare… and I often spent time curled up on nights where he would beat me. Miyuki would sneak into my room through the window and she would take care of me. Other times we would meet up at night at a nearby park and sit under a tree. She was my escape and I was hers. I found out the hard way that adults don't listen to kids. Especially when your Uncle is a respected public figure. Even Miyuki's Father was a police officer...so nobody would listen to me when I tried to tell people about it."

I sighed as I busied my hands with the sheet music at the piano. For some reason, beyond my understanding, I kept talking, "It was Miyuki who decided to change it on her own. Little did I know that she had been documenting my injuries in her diary for who knows how long. She planned the whole thing that was going to get her Father arrested… and my Uncle. She didn't tell me anything. Her plan worked, just not the way she wanted it to. She certainly didn't plan to die. Her plan was simple. She lied to her Mom and her Father… so that her Mom would come home as her Father was raping her. As I'm sure you read… it ended quite differently."

"I read about it but I didn't delve too much into the details. I know she died though," Rise admitted.

"Mom came home and did catch her husband raping their daughter. But there was a struggle along with yelling and well… it all happened pretty quick. Miyuki was shoved she tripped up and fell. Her head hit the corner of a table and she died instantly. Miyuki had taken matters into her own hands and she had been pretty thorough. The police investigation lead them to her diary… which as I told you had a detailed account of my own abuse along with hers. My Mom was the one that discovered it. After she did… she turned it into the police. They took my Uncle into custody and Mom...she showed up at my school and pulled me out. It happened all while I was at school. She told me about Miyuki's death and that I would never have to see him again," I took a deep breath and glanced briefly at Rise. "Miyuki never told me about any of it. She lied to me."

"She did it to protect you, to save you," Rise approached and sat on the piano bench next to me.

"I lost everything when she died. That might sound over dramatic but I was only six years old. I couldn't remember my parents or anything before my Uncle. Saying I took her death hard doesn't even begin to describe how I felt," I could feel tears forming in my eyes. Why was I telling her all of this? I had never talked about this with anyone. So why now? "After both trials and my Uncle and Miyuki's Father were sentenced… Mom officially adopted me and we moved to Inaba… to get away from the city… and away from the media. Then came years of therapy. But none of it really helped me. I just didn't understand what the point of even trying was. I don't really understand it now."

"You never recovered from it. That's why you tried to commit suicide," Rise was obviously connecting the rest of the dots.

"I suppose that's accurate. Mom has done everything for me. I've only ever caused problems for her. It wasn't until after the suicide attempt I woke up a bit. At the time I thought that I would be doing her a favor by killing myself. Goes to show you how little I knew about life. Then again, even now it isn't like I've ever tried to really live. I just do the minimum to get by without attracting attention to myself," I looked back to Rise.

"Senpai, you can't just let life pass you by because you're afraid of the possibilities. You think that once I leave, that I would stop talking to you or ever come back to see you? Life is unpredictable, just like you said. But that doesn't mean only bad things will happen. Look I know that words don't really hold much weight for you. That's why I'm here now, like this," Rise was obviously indicating her choice of clothes. "You are a big reason I was able to become an Idol… And it was you that was able to tell when something had changed in my life. You influenced my life without us even meeting. Why should our relationship just be left to me causing you to fall down a flight of stairs?"

I see. I guess that makes sense. Strangely my behavior that often drove people away is what drew her in it seems… because I was honest and blunt with her. Something that she didn't really have in her life. I wanted to laugh because of it. "So you came back here...dressed like that to get my attention?"

"It worked didn't it?" she smiled.

"I can't really refute that, considering the discussion we've just had," I looked back to her and let my eyes wander to take in the finer details of the dress… it was more intricate than I realized. It was a Lolita style dress, so it was more frilly than I had noticed before. Then I realized I was getting a look into her cleavage so I quickly looked away. "It isn't something you usually wear but… you look really good in it."

"Thanks, I was hoping you would like it," Rise really did sound like she meant that. "It was something I had from a photo shoot. Most of the time they let me keep the clothes since they are fitted for me anyway. I'm glad I was able to wear them again. I don't have a problem wearing different clothes. People like to have opinions about everything. Style, the choice of your friends but I learned this year that I really don't care about any of that. I care about the people close to me...who mean something to me. But I wouldn't mind wearing more clothes like this if you enjoy it."

Okay...now I needed to figure out what her intentions were. There was too much effort going into just getting me to open up to her. "What do you want from me? Getting me to talk about all of this is one thing but beyond this I don't think..."

She reached over and put a finger to my mouth. I felt myself shake a bit but it wasn't that bad. "I want you to believe that I'm not doing this because I'm interested in just what happened to you. I mean I want to know about you, but your past is only one part of you. More than that I want to continue to see you in the future. So I've thought about it. About how I could prove to you that I want to see you again. That I don't want our relationship to just stop after this. Will you listen to my proposal? I'm not expecting an answer right now. I'll wait until after the concert."

A proposal? I guess it couldn't hurt to hear her out. "Alright," I looked back to her and our eyes met. Her eyes seemed to soften a bit when I did. She had amazing eyes. "What proposal is this?"

She smiled, "I thought about it for a while. And I feel like you wouldn't believe me unless I committed to a decision. So after this I want us to go out. I mean to date as a couple. If we're dating then...there isn't anything I wouldn't tell you. So that way you would know where I am and I..."

"What are you talking about?" I shook my head. "Us? Date? That is your idea? You can't do even do that...your agency doesn't allow you to date anyone."

"That is true. But it isn't like I'm going to tell them," Rise placed a hand on my arm. "That is just how serious I am about this, Senpai. I feel if I wasn't willing to go this far and risk my career then you wouldn't believe me. Plus I really am attracted to you. This is something that I want." She then got to her feet. "I know getting close to you is hard because of your anxiety but I read that over time and effort you can get over it. I want to try to get close to you. I'm willing to take these risks for you. But the final decision is up to you. I want you to seriously think about it. If in the end you decide to cut me off and push me away, then that is your decision. Or if you want to take a chance and try to live...I'll be here to help you along the way. That is my decision."

I looked at her as she turned away. I couldn't get any words to come out.

"Ikakure-senpai, please think about this," she made her way to the door but stopped and looked back at me. "You may not believe it but you deserve to live. You deserve to be happy."

Then she was gone.

* * *

 _December 20th, 2011 / After School  
_ _Kayane's House_

 ** _RISE'S POINT OF VIEW_**

I watched as Kayane was talking about the minor changes he had made after our first rehearsal. I guess the transitions were rougher than he liked. He really was a perfectionist when it came to music. Even when it was Christmas music. Maybe this was just how he was, dedicated and didn't accept just passable work. I had taken a moment to look at the posted test scores and it seemed that Kayane was the same way when it came to school work. He was in the top five among all seniors. That was pretty telling of his work ethic in itself. Working with him over these last few days had definitely shown me just how dedicated he could be when focused on a task.

"Do you usually keep such a sharp eye on him when you were practicing alone with him?" Naoto sat down next me as we were all basically waiting for the others to go through what Kayane wanted.

"I can't help myself," I admitted but looked to Naoto. "You know he puts more effort into his work then actual professionals I've worked with. I mean one of the piano players I had at one of my shows barely knew my songs. And he was someone that came highly recommended. Maybe he doesn't come off that way but Ikakure-senpai has a lot of pride in everything he does. I'm not even sure he is aware of it."

"But you've noticed," Naoto said simply as Kayane was now playing a piece from one of the songs and then stopped to explain what he was doing. "Considering what he has done with the music it is quite impressive. He re-arranged the songs to basically fit you and the typical style of your music. And he has made it easy for the others to follow even with the limited amount of time we have. I don't think Watanabe-senpai could have predicted this. No one could have known what Ikakure-senpai would bring to the table."

"Because he didn't want anyone to know. His music has always been an escape to him. I don't think he ever considered it a talent. But it is...and it isn't his ability to play that is his real talent but his ability to listen," I could think of a number of occasions that Kayane had been able to pick out a problem when we were rehearsing. It's more impressive considering how many moving parts were going at once.

"I've noticed," Naoto spoke after a moment. "I guess that means you made a decision."

"I asked him to go out with me. He's supposed to answer me after the concert," I had meant to tell her earlier but we had been busy.

She sighed, "You really fell for him, didn't you?"

"I might have...but I don't know for sure. It's still a chance I want to take. It isn't fair to Senpai, if he is the only one taking a risk. His anxiety problems make it hard for him to be close to anyone but what risk would it be for me if I were simply friends with him? Plus I am going back to the Idol industry, so how could I promise him I would come back to see him with just a promise? After what he has gone through I would never expect words to be enough for him. So I'll tie myself to him," my explanation was probably too basic as the discussion with him had been tense. I also left without getting his reaction...so I'm not sure if my proposal really meant anything to him. "All I can do is try to convince him over these next few days that it's worth doing. Maybe I'm too impatient...and too optimistic."

"That's for sure," Naoto shook her head. "Still I don't think there was any other way for you to deal with the situation."

"I don't think this situation is simple enough to say if I've fallen for him or not. I just know that I can't walk away from him. And if I was going to fall for anyone then I don't mind it being him," I found myself saying. The meaning behind those words held a heavier weight than I realized until I had spoken it outloud. "I know he's scared of me. At least, what I could potentially represent to him."

Naoto didn't say anything for a moment as the piano was being played and Kayane was singing part of the song. That caught her attention, but I was already aware of how Kayane showed off the song and the notes. He couldn't hit all the notes without dropping to a lower octave sometimes but his vocal range was definitely impressive. But his voice was beautiful. If Kayane wanted to, he could have a music career himself. I did know that there was a lot of barriers in front of him if that was something he wanted to pursue. But I think his real joy came from creation of music.

When Kayane stopped playing and began explaining the notes for the song was when Naoto leaned towards me to speak again, "Does he even know how he sounds like to others?"

I shook my head, "Of course not. I don't think he cares what other people think of him. I doubt he even really sees his skill with a piano and singing as anything worth noting. He…" I stopped as I looked at him as the words came to my head. Kayane didn't care about himself, or his worth. Not his talents, or his future. Even his expression now didn't show any particular emotion. It was neutral, and probably came off as just being professional. I could tell he was uncomfortable due to the social aspect of the situation. It probably wasn't easy to tell that though. And maybe I only saw it because I was looking for it.

"Rise?" Naoto pulled me from my thoughts. It just seemed to spiral away from me when it came to Kayane. It was all just chaos in my head.

"After all these years I spent, searching. I thought I knew what I wanted. I though all I wanted was to have friends and people that saw me for who I am while I did what I loved. But I lost that along the way," I speak softly as I was watching Kayane and was just loud enough for Naoto to hear. "But I've never been more unsure of that now. My heart is in turmoil, it is exciting just as much as it is painful. One wrong step or action and I'll lose him."

"He isn't someone that can be easily categorized or predicted. He doesn't act like everyone else when you meet them. More so, the very fact that he doesn't fall into anything you've seen before is why you are pulled to him," Naoto was breaking down my actions, my thoughts. "He is your fan, and yet he easily separates the fact that your music doesn't necessarily mean what is shown is you. Perhaps because of his knowledge of the industry but he didn't accept the face you gave to the public as your real one. From the beginning he saw you as an individual that no doubt had to face many things becoming an idol."

"However, he also knows what he has been through and equates what we've each experienced as different. Unequal. If I had to guess, he thinks that he is only a burden to those around him. That he'll only make people suffer," I shake my head and look to Naoto. "Even still I have to try."

"He's going to hurt you, Rise," Naoto said flatly.

I shook my head, "That's fine. I would rather take the chance and be hurt than play it safe and protect myself."

Naoto sighed, "You really are strong Rise. No matter what happens, I'll be here for you."

"Thanks, Naoto," I smiled as I looked back to Kayane. Only to find him looking at me. He didn't break his gaze away from me immediately like I thought he would. Instead he looked thoughtful as if considering something.

"Okay," Kayane spoke louder so everyone could hear him. "We're going to do a rough play session. Don't worry about getting your parts perfectly with the new alterations. Just keep playing and we'll try to adjust as we go. Let's try and run through everything a couple times before we hit the time limit for tonight."

I had only met Kayane for the first time eight days ago. As I got to my feet and approached the piano where he prepared to play, I had a thought. It felt like I had known him for so much longer. And I didn't want my time with him to end.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Part 3 of 4. Tomorrow's part is the last of the story. And I'll probably take some time to talk about my plans for 2018 in terms of my fan fiction. Hope you've enjoyed this so far.**


	4. Part 4

**_Part 4_**

 _December 23rd, 2011 / After School  
_ _Kayane's House_

Tomorrow was the concert. The plan was that it would happen on a impromptu stage at Junes. The same one they had set up just a couple months ago when they had attempted a different event. One that Rise and her friends had performed. I had actually seen that concert, and while her friends were amateurs with instruments, it was some of the best Rise had sung in quite some time. It had been clear that her friends had been a huge influence to her. I saw that more now than I had then.

Her friends were close to each other. I'm not sure what had brought such an odd group of individuals to be under one clique but despite their different interests they all seemed to have such big smiles on their faces, even when they were facing something difficult. Of course in this instance what was difficult was me. Perhaps due to my own standards or work ethic that clashed with them, but I pushed them all hard regardless.

I know that Rise would call foul if I gave this concert anything less than everything I had. But no performance was as good as the parts that made it. It took a cohesive whole to make a truly great performance. That was why I loved music to begin with. Music took the combine work of hundreds of people to make a peice. Even if I wrote the music, it still wouldn't be possible without the work of all the people that came before me. Perhaps it was too much of a romanticized way of looking at it, but it was the truth. People had to invent the instruments, refine them to create their wide range of sound, then there were the composers that essentially created musical theory and the ones who found what worked and what didn't when it came to music. Then there are those that took it a step further by experimenting and calling into question what came before them, time and time again. Music was forever evolving. But it was a collaboration, nothing was ever truly accomplished on their own.

Rise and her friends reminded me of this as we worked. Even if they were not up to my ridiculous standards that were unreasonable given the length of time we had. They still tried their best and in the short number of days all of them had improved dramatically. Some of them seemed to be somewhat talented, and others were a bit rough but after practicing they had all improved. It was impressive.

"Good job everyone," Watanabe spoke up and smiling. "I want to thank all of you for putting so much work into this. Especially you, Ikakure. Without you I don't think it would be nearly as special or unique as it is now."

I looked to him but I just shrugged, "I'm flattered you think that but I didn't do much. My work doesn't mean anything if no one put in the effort and practice behind it."

"Even so, I'm grateful," Watanabe said to me regardless.

"So tomorrow's the day huh?" Yosuke scratched his head.

"I'm kinda nervous," Yukiko admitted.

"I can't wait to see what kind of look the audience will have when that last song hits," Kanji said hitting his open palm with a fist.

"We're going to rock out there. Right, Taro?" Reiko latched onto Taro's arm. He didn't even react to his childhood friends excitement.

"Reiko, no. It's a Christmas concert, we aren't trying to blow people out of their seats," Taro shook his head.

"Oh, you know what I meant," Reiko smiled and put her head on his shoulder. Oddly, despite how they usually were it seemed Taro wasn't against her being so familiar and close with him. Maybe I was reading them wrong? It isn't like I was great at reading relationships anyway.

Thankfully the group didn't linger around and each began to leave my home. After I had believed everyone had gone home I sat at the piano and stared at the keys. Tomorrow was the performance, and yet…

"You should play something," a voice said. I hadn't registered who it was but when I turned to the doorway I saw, my Mom. She walked in and crossed to me at the piano.

"Mom, I…" I looked to her but she shook her head and it made me stop.

"Trust me, just play," she indicated to the piano.

So without thought I did just that. Running over the keys with my hands, I began to play. A slow but slowly growing melody came from the piano. Then as time passed the tempo would pick up and the sound became louder and sharper. Until I was nearly pounding the piano with my fingers. I felt an immense amount of energy come from me and poured it into the piano. I kept playing, until the tempo reached as fast as I could get. And just as I reached the crescendo I stopped.

I stared at my hands and let out a deep breath.

"Better, right?" Mom smiled as she sat next to me. "Honestly, Kay-chan, what are you doing?"

I hung my head. I guess if anyone were to really understand my thoughts after all this time it would be Mom.

"You are only fooling yourself if you think you don't care. After all the honest effort you put into this concert. What have I told you all these years? Music and the stage were always a possibility for you. Not that you have ever listened to me," Mom sighed slightly and I knew she didn't mean it negatively.

"I know," I looked to her. "But I-"

"-don't deserve it? And who are you to determine that?" yet a different voice. I didn't have to look to know who it was. Standing in the room was Rise. "You are allowed to be selfish, Ikakure-san. You are allowed to want something for yourself."

I get to my feet and instead feel myself getting irritated, "I don't need you to lecture me about it. But go ahead and say your piece. After tomorrow that will be the end of it." I went to walk past her.

"You still won't be honest with yourself… will you Kay-chan?" Mom said as she had taken the initiative and cut me off. "Are you really okay with running for your whole life? Wake up! For once in your life you need to see that this is what you want."

"Let me ask you a question, Senpai," Rise said as she walked up to me. "How do you think you look when you play the piano?"

"How I look?" I echoed. I watched as Mom left the music studio. Leaving Rise and I alone. Mom had definitely said her piece. But I guess Rise had a lot more to say. Since I had told her that tomorrow would be the last I ever wanted to see of her. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"You close your eyes and you tune out the world. You allow yourself to be pulled into the music and forget about your surroundings. The last thing you would even consider is how you look to others. But that's just it, you don't even consider how people see you. What people think of you. You don't even care. Isn't that the truth?" Rise said flatly to me, her eyes harsher than they ever had been before.

"Why should you care? I told you it is a waste of time and that I am not-" I started but then Rise rushed up to me which had me retreat a couple steps.

"Do not dare to put yourself down. You hear me? Let me finish. Do you know what I see when you play the piano? How I see you? I'll tell you. I see a handsome, talented guy that doesn't really just how amazing he is. When you play I become entranced with your music, but not just that, but I get drawn into the sight of you playing the piano. There is nothing in this world more amazing to me than that sight. That's why, I can't let tomorrow be the last for us. I've only seen one side of you Senpai. There has to be so much more to you. Please, don't turn me away. Don't hide from the world. Don't hide from yourself." Rise eyes did more than make me uncomfortable. Her proximity also made my face start to heat up and my heart pounding faster.

She meant it, she really did. But it didn't make sense to me. So many people in the past had told me they cared. That they wanted to help me get better. But where were they now? As it always happened… My Mother was the only one that remained. Everyone always left eventually. That was just the reality of it. But Rise, she was going so far as to become my girlfriend, just so she could make a point. That she wasn't going to be the same. But was it something she could truly promise me? I tried to calm myself and took a couple deep breaths. I moved past her and towards the door. When she didn't stop me I paused and looked back to her.

"What you said before. Are you still serious?" I asked her after a moment.

"I'll be waiting for your answer tomorrow. After the concert," she spoke softly. "Senpai, please. Don't make tomorrow our last day together. I know that on some level… you enjoyed your time with me, right?"

I turned away from her, my mind in complete chaos. "I… don't know."

"It won't be easy for us. I mean being together while I'm having a career and finishing high school. It will be quite the juggling act," she giggled and approached me.

"Why? Are you really serious about this? Why me?" I shook my head.

"Of course I'm serious!" she frowned and put her hands on her hip as she blocked my path out of the studio. "If I didn't go this far, you wouldn't believe me. I'll tie myself to you. If it is found out that Risette has a boyfriend, it would be quite the scandal. But I wouldn't deny it. Whatever the consequences of that action come to be, I'm okay with. I want to know more about you, Senpai. And what better way or excuse to do so than being your girlfriend? So you better say yes tomorrow." Rise turned away. Her voice became softer, "Please, don't push me out of your life." Then before I could say anything else, Rise quickly left. Leaving me alone in the studio.

* * *

 _December 24th, 2011 / Evening  
_ _Junes Food Court_

 ** _RISE'S POINT OF VIEW_**

The concert was about to start. And honestly, any nervousness I might have felt had nothing to do with the performance we were about to do but all about the events that would happen after. One way or another, my relationship with Ikakure Kayane was going to change. Either it would have a new beginning or it would end. Just twelve days ago I had met him. And it had not been the best of first interactions.

I had heard one of my own songs coming from his earbud while we were all in the 2nd floor hallway. The only reason Kayane had been there was because the third floor for seniors had been closed due to a pipe bursting. And what had happened? Kayane fell down a flight of stairs when I was too aggressive in trying to find out how he had my demo track _Star Bright_ in his possession. A song that had never been released. But one of my most important songs I had ever sung as it was what led to Takura Productions to giving the green light to becoming an idol. So naturally I wanted to know how someone in my school had somehow gotten a hold of it.

It was a reminder of how small the world could be. How more connected we were to the people around us than we are often aware of. I had done just about everything that I could to prepare for today. I could only hope that my words have affected Kayane enough to say yes to my proposal.

I had never had a boyfriend before, so this whole situation was definitely not a normal one. I mean, what would people think if they knew about me doing something like this? I know it would certainly annoy fans of mine. Who decides they are going to date someone like I had? I still didn't know much about Kayane. But the truth was I was inexplicably drawn to him like a moth to an open flame. It was possible that getting close to him would simply lead to me getting burned.

It didn't bother me though. Even if that was what would eventually happen. Nothing was ever set in stone, and who was to say that even if something did happen that we wouldn't be able to move past it.

There was the sound of the piano starting, the noise of the gathered crowd was dulling as attention turned to the stage. Kayane, the one least likely to ever want to perform in front of a crowd, now was the one starting a concert. But he ignored the crowd and focused intently on his piano. As he played his eyes closed, and closing him out from the rest of the world, from now it was just him and his music.

The piano sat on the back of the stage, so while he was drawing attention, it was set up so he would never really be the focus. As the music played I did my part and stepped out onto the stage. As I did the other members of our performance band came out and took their place. The crowd stayed silent as they watched us.

The food court of Junes had probably not seen this many people here in quite a while, if ever. Another measure came and the rest of the band joined the music. The music changed, taking a more familiar tone to the audience. As soon as the realization hit the crowd, they cheered.

I kept a big smile on my face and began to sing.

 _"I don't want a lot for Christmas  
_ _There's just one thing I need  
_ _I don't care about presents  
_ _Underneath the Christmas tree  
_ _I just want you for my own  
_ _More than you could ever know  
_ _Make my wish come true  
_ _All I want for Christmas is you."_

I had fallen in love with this song a long time ago. It expressed so many things, and I had once dreamed of being able to sing this song to someone. A silly, if not somewhat childish dream. Yet I couldn't help but look back at Kayane while I sung. His eyes still closed, caught up in the music. Little did he know just how attractive he was when he did that. But I wasn't about to tell anyone the effect he had on me.

 _"I don't want a lot for Christmas  
_ _There is just one thing I need  
_ _I don't care about presents  
_ _Underneath the Christmas tree  
_ _I don't need to hang my stocking  
_ _There upon the fireplace  
_ _Santa Claus won't make me happy  
_ _With a toy on Christmas day  
_ _I just want you for my own  
_ _More than you could ever know  
_ _Make my wish come true  
_ _All I want for Christmas is you  
_ _You baby"_

The upbeat and faster pace song was definitely a good way to tell the crowd that the Christmas concert wasn't going to be just simple familiar songs, as the music beat was different. All of it was customized by Kayane to fit my usual style and voice. Pausing at some parts and then changing the tempo in others. This song in particular had a more pop rock sound to it and the tempo fast but slowing at parts when I had more drawn out notes.

 _"I won't ask for much this Christmas  
_ _I won't even wish for snow  
_ _I'm just gonna keep on waiting  
_ _Underneath the mistletoe  
_ _I won't make a list and send it  
_ _To the North Pole for Saint Nick  
_ _I won't even stay awake to  
_ _Hear those magic reindeer click  
_ _'Cause I just want you here tonight  
_ _Holding on to me so tight  
_ _What more can I do  
_ _Baby all I want for Christmas is you"_

The crowd loved the song, but as much as I played to the crowd, my mind stayed more focused on Kayane. I knew better than this. As a performer I've long since learned that once on stage all that matters is the show. That I shouldn't allow my thoughts to wanger. But how could I not? I'd spent a lot of time with Kayane, singing this song with just the two of us. It was now something I'm sure I would never forget. But I didn't want this to be just one memory. I wanted this to be a start. A start to something better, but it was all left to Kayane now.

 _"All the lights are shining  
_ _So brightly everywhere  
_ _And the sound of children's  
_ _Laughter fills the air  
_ _And everyone is singing  
_ _I hear those sleigh bells ringing  
_ _Santa won't you bring me the one I really need  
_ _Won't you please bring my baby to me"_

What would he do? Would he turn me away and forget about everything that happened? Just push the events of this last couple weeks away? Would this be the last time I would see him? These thoughts had been crossing my mind again and again for quite a few days. Maybe this song was more accurate to my feelings than I realized. I had never really asked for anything for Christmas before, even when I was younger. After all Christmas wasn't celebrated in Japan like it was in other areas in the world. Generally it was celebrated more by couples. Did I really want him as my boyfriend? I wouldn't have made the proposal otherwise, right?

 _"Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas  
_ _This is all I'm asking for  
_ _I just want to see my baby  
_ _Standing right outside my door  
_ _Oh I just want him for my own  
_ _More than you could ever know  
_ _Make my wish come true  
_ _Baby all I want for Christmas is  
_ _You_

 _All I want for Christmas is you baby  
_ _All I want for Christmas is you baby"_

The song came to an end and was greeted by cheers from the gathering crowd, which had grown even more since the song had begun. The concert was now underway.

"Hello everyone! Thanks for joining me, Risette, today on Christmas Eve," I smiled to the crowd. "My friends and I have a special performance just for all of you. I hope you'll like it."

The concert wasn't meant to be very long. Around forty minutes, give or take. We were doing a total of six songs. More than the original intended four. That was because two of the songs would strictly be Kayane on the piano and me singing. It had been something we added after briefly talking with the others. The crowd loved the music, and they listened and cheered as we performed.

It went by so quickly, and as we did I had lost myself to the music as well. When was the last time I had lost myself while singing in front of the crowd? It seemed like ages ago when it had ever occurred. I was smiling, simply because of how much fun I was having. Thanks to Kayane and adding the subtle changes in the music that made it feel so familiar to my usual songs that it made it easier for me. I felt like I could truly cut loose. But the concert was coming to an end.

"Thank you everyone for coming out to see us," I said and waved to the crowd as all my friends walked out in front of the stage. Chie, Naoto, Kanji, Yosuke, Yukiko and Yu all stood in front of the stage. As they did, Kayane started the last song of the night. The tempo for this song was faster than the others. And to achieve the sound wanted, all of us had to sing.

 _"Hark how the bells,  
Sweet silver bells,  
All seem to say,  
Throw cares away_

 _Christmas is here,  
Bringing good cheer,  
To young and old,  
Meek and the bold."_

Our collection of voices melded together in a way that blew me away. All of this was only possible because of Kayane. He coached all of them, directing each of them to hit certain notes. When brought together it created the most amazing sound. This kept the audience entranced as the song continued.

 _"Ding dong ding dong  
That is their song  
With joyful ring  
All caroling._

 _One seems to hear  
Words of good cheer  
From everywhere  
Filling the air._

 _Oh how they pound,  
Raising the sound,  
O'er hill and dale,  
Telling their tale._

 _Gaily they ring  
While people sing  
Songs of good cheer,  
Christmas is here._

 _Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas,  
Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas."_

It was hauntingly mesmerizing how the sound came together, and the quick pace only kept the audience drawn in. This was an amazing sound I could never hope to accomplish on my own. Only when many voices came together, each one supporting and strengthening each other. Even though not everyone could necessarily sing that well, their voice still added to the whole. It was so amazing. More than that, Kayane had heard their voices, pinpointed their strength and how they could fit in to that whole. That was true talent. To be able to pull people together, and with a little work, make something so beautiful with having everyone work together.

Kayane had no idea just how amazing and beautiful of a song he had created. And not one of her friends or the others in the band were left out. Even Kayane himself. I looked back as we sang the next part.

 _"On on they send,  
On without end,  
Their joyful tone  
To every home._

 _Ding dong ding dong  
Ding dong ding dong_

 _Hark how the bells,  
Sweet silver bells,  
All seem to say,  
Throw cares away  
_ _ **Kayane & Rise:**_ _(We will throw cares away)"_

A slight alteration, as Kayane and I sang a part differently from the others. The microphones in front of both of us would make it easier for the crowd to hear us over the others. How did Kayane not enjoy his music? How could he be content with keeping his voice and talent hidden from the world? No, I suppose I could understand that. What bothered me more in this instance is I was conflicted. I wanted the world to know just how amazing Kayane was. And at the same time I also wanted to keep him to myself.

But it always came back to the fact that I didn't have a choice. Today would either be an end, or a new beginning.

 _"Christmas is here,  
Bringing good cheer,  
To young and old,  
Meek and the bold.  
_ _ **Kayane & Rise:**_ _(Bringing cheer to the young and old)_

 _Oh how they pound,  
Raising the sound,  
O'er hill and dale,  
Telling their tale._

 _Gaily they ring  
While people sing  
Songs of good cheer,  
Christmas is here._

 _Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas,  
Merry Christmas  
Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas,  
Merry Christmas_

 _On on they send,  
On without end,  
Their joyful tone  
To every home."_

The music came to an end, and the crowd cheered. I bowed, as did all my friends. I smiled as big as possible for the crowd but it wasn't hard. My heart had been so moved by the final product of our song. It had been so amazing. It had been magical to experience. The crowd applauded and cheered as we all took a final bow.

But one of us simply left. Kayane was leaving. My heart raced and I turned and chased after him. I think the others were coming to. I followed him through a side door which led to an employee break area. He seemingly collapsed into a chair. For a moment I thought that Kayane had been trying to run off, to avoid answering me. I wasn't about to let him do that. But that was not what was happening. I slowed down as I walked towards him and realized, he was shaking.

I moved forward towards him. He pushed himself towards the wall and put his arms around himself, trying to protect himself from the world. As if it was trying to attack him. No, this was something else. It was an anxiety attack. Being on stage had to be hard on him. Too many eyes, too many people looking at him. There was no telling what they would think of him. That had to be the line of thought he had likely had.

But he had been amazing. It might have started as Watanabe's concert but it was Kayane's music. It was his hard work, talent and insight that had made the whole thing even possible. Without him the concert would have never made it to such heights. But he didn't see that, he couldn't. I think I understood what Naoto had talked to me about before. She had described that anxiety attacks were not something that could be easily explained.

Anxiety was not simple. There was a reason why someone might develop anxiety but the trigger for an anxiety attack could vary and was not easy to tell what might trigger one. For Kayane he might have been fine for the whole concert and it wasn't until he was finished playing and he had no choice but to acknowledge that such a large crowd had heard him perform might be the cause for this one. Then again, Naoto had said that even small things can cause an anxiety attack to occur.

I paused, unsure of what I should do. He was shaking, and I'm sure he was holding back any possible sound he could. I took a step towards him. Why was I hesitating? This is why I wanted to be here, to help him. So that he wasn't on his own, alone with thoughts that he couldn't help.

I then closed the distance and moving to the side of the chair I wrapped my arms around him. "Senpai," I whispered softly. "You were amazing out there."

He stiffened at my touch. I knew he would. That was okay. He needed time. I couldn't expect him to spend most of his life avoiding people and expect him to be just okay with this. But he didn't move away either. Instead he shifted a bit and I took the chance to pull him closer to me, and then I took a chance and slid myself into his lap so I could better put my arms around him.

Kayane surprised me when he put his arms around me in return, but buried his head in the crook of my neck and shoulder to hide his face from me. "You're going to return to a place like that, and leave me behind, aren't you?" his voice came out weak and more emotion than I was expecting. And then I realized that he was crying.

"I won't leave you behind," I spoke as soothingly as I could.

"Everyone leaves me behind," he said, ignoring my words.

"I won't," I spoke more firmly.

"You don't know that," he refused my words again.

"Neither do you," I wasn't going to give up on him. "You have to take a chance. If you don't then nothing will change."

He stayed silent and I felt him squeeze me against him. Fear, he was afraid that this was but a fleeting moment, that this wasn't something he was allowed to have. His tears only increased as it turned to sobs. Then he spoke again through his sobbing, "You deserve someone so much better than me. Someone that can be happy with themselves…"

"But I don't want someone better. I want you," I countered. "And everything that comes with it."

Oddly my words made his sobbing slow and he took a deep breath. Then although he was still in a panic he tried to make a joke, "You're weird."

"No weirder than a guy that actually turns away a pop idols advances. Especially since you listen to all of my music," I countered and slightly teasing him.

"It's just who I am," he took my comment more seriously than I was expecting.

"I know that," I assured him. "But I want to know more about you."

"You're really weird," Kayane echoed. It was silent between us as I simply held him close to me. It was about twenty minutes before he started calming down, and his breath normalized. Then he said two words I hadn't expected. "Thank you."

* * *

 _December 24th, 2011 / Evening  
_ _Kayane's House_

"Kanpai!" The whole group said and clanged their drinks together.

"Come on, Senpai. You should say it too," Rise nudged me. I just rolled my eyes. How did they convince my Mother to have an after party? She knows that I wouldn't… Now that I think about it… it's because of that she would instantly approve it.

"Whatever, bunch of freeloaders. Be careful with your drinks, it's hot apple cider and we just pulled it off so I would wait before starting to…"

"AH! That's hot!" Kanji yelled out.

I sighed and shrugged, "Nevermind."

"Don't worry, that's just how Kanji is," Rise assured me. Not sure how that made me feel better though.

"He should be more careful," I mutter as I look down at my own cup, the heat rising visibly as steam from it.

"Okay, okay. I have something I need to say to all of you," Watanabe spoke up and standing up from his spot. "I want to thank all of you for making this happen. Ichide-san, Mitsuragi-san, you were both amazing out there. Osagawa and Aizawa, it wouldn't have been anywhere as good if I didn't get your help."

"Don't worry about it," Taro shrugged.

"Don't say that Taro. Just so you know Watanabe-san he was very insistent on helping you," Reiko grabbed Taro's arm and smiled big at Watanabe.

"Thanks, both of you," Watanabe said before continuing. "Of course I want to thank Kujikawa and her friends. Without all of you we wouldn't have had a place to even hold the concert much less perform. So thanks, Hanamura, Satonaka, Amagi, Tatsumi, Shirogane and Narukami."

"No problem. Besides, Dad is already telling me that sales are way up today thanks to the performance," Yosuke grinned.

"Besides it was a lot of fun," Yukiko added.

"Well Ikakure-Senpai is kind of a slave driver but that music we made was out of this world," Kanji commented.

"He wouldn't have had to be so strict with you if you had paid better attention to his lessons the first time around," Naoto said as she folded her arms. Then they all laughed and I simply raised an eyebrow towards Kanji's comment.

"Kujikawa, this concert wouldn't have had nearly as many people show up if it wasn't for you and your talent. Thank you," Watanabe smiled at the girl that sat next to me.

"Well I only did a small part," Rise said after a moment.

"Ikakure-san," Watanabe turned to me. "I think I speak for everyone when I say how much you surprised us with what you could do. I feel even more like an idiot because we have been in the same class since middle school and yet in all that time I never took a chance to try and talk to you. Still, the real reason the concert got the reception and the cheers and applause we got is because of you. You took the songs and modified them for Rise, but at the same time you simplified everything so that we could each easily learn our individual parts."

"Let's not forget how he took all of us and made us sing for that last song," Yu spoke up. "He was able to ensure all of us contributed to the overall sound, even for us that aren't exactly talented in that regard."

"Ah, you did just fine, Yu," Yukiko assured him.

"I still think you all could have done better. And Narukami, you were still flat on the last note," I comment somewhat dryly.

"The point still stands. This concert only became what it did thanks to you," Ichide Tsubasa added. "I think Saya and I should say the same. We've been your classmates longer than even Watanabe and we never really talked to you."

"I knew you from before. I saw you compete in those piano recitals from long ago," Saya said after a moment. "I heard about what you went through, but because of that I was never sure how to approach you so… I never did."

"It wasn't like I was ever much of a sociable person. It isn't exactly any of your faults. I made my choice to seclude myself anyway," I looked away. What was with this conversation anyway?

"Ikakure, what I'm trying to say, is thank you. Even if you did this for your own reasons, you put your all into it and it really showed. You made this into something special and it is something that I or anyone else here will ever forget. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart," Watanabe said and then he bowed. But it wasn't him, it was everyone that bowed. Each one echoing their own thank you to me.

I looked at all of them. And then even Rise who sat next to me gave a bow to me. My heart rate started to go up. Why? I don't need this. Don't thank me!

"Kay-chan," Mom stood at the entry to the dining room with probably the biggest smile I had ever seen on her. "I've told you for years how talented you are, but you never once tried or allowed me to give you the opportunity. And now news of your work has reached a lot of people. The general public might believe that it was Risette and her talent that drove the performance. But people that are in the industry, they know it wasn't just her. That someone talented had to be behind her to create the kind of concert you did."

"Mom?" I looked at her as I saw someone walk in behind her. Someone I didn't know. "What is this about?"

"Wait, Inoue-san?" Rise was standing next to me. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see your performance, of course. I thought you might make a big deal if I talked to you before the show, but I also had a camera crew record the whole concert. It was quite the task setting it all up in secret," he chuckled with a smile. "This concert was special. Anyone who watched it would understand that. More than that, I don't think I have ever seen you shine so bright than today. And that is in no large part than the rest of you. And especially you, Ikakure-san. You have a real knack for understanding sound and its composition. This concert wouldn't have sounded as well as it did without you. More than that, you understand Rise's voice better than most. So I came here today with an offer."

"An offer?" I echoed, having no idea what it is he wanted.

"I'd like to hire you as a Producer. Most of Risette's songs are finished for her new album, but I'd like you to take over and go over the whole album and bring it up to the same quality you showed here. Naturally, you'll get full pay for the position," Inoue said with a smile.

"Me? Produce Kujikawa's comeback album?" I blinked. Did he mean it? He couldn't be serious. "If I do then I want the ability to reject songs, and change them."

"Of course, I'm sure you and Rise-chan will be able to come to an agreement on the tracks," Inoue didn't even hesitate.

I didn't know what to say. "I… need some time to think about it," I finally said.

"Naturally. We do have some other things to go over to finalize the deal. My offer stands though. Assuming you'd be okay with that, Rise-chan," Inoue looked to the one next to me.

"Of course! Senpai would be amazing to help with my comeback!" Rise looked to me with the biggest smile. "Nothing would make me happier."

"This is what you've always wanted, Kay-chan," Mom spoke as she crossed the distance to me and then put her arms around me. "You were always the one that wanted to make her music better, right? To bring out her full potential. Ever since you first heard her, it was that reason that kept drawing you back. It's time, Kay-chan. Let go of the past, of what happened before. It's time you finally show the world what you can do."

* * *

 _December 25th, 2011 / Evening  
_ _Chinese Diner Aiya_

"Here are your beef bowls," a girl with blue hair placed it on the table.

"Aika-chan! It's rare to see you actually working in the shop. Aren't you usually on deliveries?" Rise said to the blue haired girl.

"Slow day," Aika said simply and with a shrug she turned and walked away.

"Strange girl," I comment as I grabbed my chopsticks and turned to my beef bowl.

"She's usually running around a lot. She doesn't seem like it but I think she has more energy than she shows," Rise explained before she used her own chopsticks and took her first bite of her own beef bowl.

It was pretty good, for sure. I suppose it wasn't a bad thing to eat out every once in a while. "You sure you want to spend Christmas with me?" I ask after a moment before taking another bite of my beef bowl.

"And why shouldn't I? Mr. Producer?" she smiled.

"Don't call me that," I comment and took another bite of my food. "Besides, how much more of a scandal do you want it to be if people find out you're dating your Producer, Kujikawa?"

"Call me Rise," she frowned.

"I'm not sure I can do that yet," I sighed.

"Which isn't fair by the way. I was the one that was trying to take all the risks, and now we're both tied up in it together," Rise sighed and put her chopsticks down. "I put a lot of thought into it you know."

"Well how were you supposed to know your own agent would offer me a job to be the Producer for your comeback CD. You should blame your previous Producer for doing such a horrible job," I comment and then stabbed a piece of meat in my beef bowl before putting in my mouth. They were pretty good at putting it all together in such a cohesive meal.

"Well you can't back out now. You agreed to it after all," Rise giggled. "And I won't let you back out of our relationship either. You are my boyfriend now. Got it, Kayane?"

Hearing her say my first name made my cheeks heat up and so I turned my attention to my beef bowl and took another long pit of noodles and took my time eating it. That's right. In the heat of all of it I had agreed to take the job. And then later that night after everyone had gone home, Rise and I talked. I knew I couldn't just turn away after all that had happened. It was because of Rise I was slowly realizing that there was still a reason to live, a reason to put in more effort. How far could I reach?

Miyuki… would you finally be happy with me now? I finally found a way to move forward.

After finishing our meal the two of us left Aiya's and walked outside into the brisk winter air. The two of us stopped as I looked up into the sky.

"It's finally over, isn't it?" I asked no one in particular. If anything it was directed at Miyuki, wherever she might be in the afterlife. If I could, I think she was smiling at me, and happy I was finally moving on.

"No," Rise answered and I turned to her. "This is where it all begins."

Rise then reached up and cupped my cheek with her hand, and gently pulled me towards her. After a moment her lips met mine. A sensation that was new and foreign to me. I felt myself get pulled more into this feeling and wanting more of her kiss.

She was right. Ever since I was a kid, it was like I left the real world along with Miyuki. When she had died, a portion of me had as well. Part of me that I never thought would come back. I had given up on living. On life. But now, Rise was showing me that life wasn't over. Life hadn't stopped.

There would be more trials and hardships to face in the future. Along the way, Rise and I will have to make difficult choices. Into the New Year and the years beyond that. There was no way to predict or properly anticipate the future. All you could do was keep putting your best foot forward. I could no longer hide in my insecurities. And I no longer planned to do that. I would do all I could now, for a future that I wanted to have. And hopefully that future would continue to include this girl that had taken a chance on me. Thank you, Rise.

 **The End**

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **This was definitely something that kind of came out of nowhere when I first thought of it. But it all kind of came together on it's own. Hmm... just to make this a bit more readable I'll sort this into questions. So here they are in no particular order.**

 ** _1\. So if the world has no Persona and Shadows, then how does the group of the Investigation Team become friends? Wait did Saki Konishi and Mayumi Yamano still die?_**

 **Well, okay in this world the killings never happened. Not to say that a certain person might not so something horrible, but the easy method of pushing someone in the TV doesn't exist so there is no real opportunity for things to happen. If they did happen then Mayumi would have been killed but the method of death would be something that would not be impossible to find out. So the actions of Adachi wouldn't have been so bold. Either way the majority of that doesn't happen. In regards to Saki, she likely harshly rejected Yosuke early on in the year. It would be something that Yu and Yosuke would bond over. And depending on the proximity Chie would likely open up a bit more to Yosuke. And I feel Yu would still be a bit of a busybody and would get to know Yukiko in a more natural way. Then after just a month or so, the four of them just became friends.**

 **Kanji would likely be the same in a way. They would still see the TV special with Kanji on it and would see him around town. Then likely just find out more about him, either through curiosity or happenstance, likely dealing with the kids and the small stuffed toy that Kanji made for him.**

 **Rise, well, she still gave up her life as an idol, but when she came to the town she sticks to herself. I imagine that Yu and company would definitely not be able to just stand by. Well, Yosuke still a bit star struck with her initially. But with their persistence, Rise finally opens up to them.**

 **Naoto would have been around too, although she would have been doing more jobs, but from time to time she ends up at school and this time Rise is the one that pulls her into the group. Well I didn't think of all the details about how it all happened, but mostly just the broad strokes. Plus since they aren't chasing a murder they had a bit more time to get to know each other in a different way. Maybe not as close as they would be as the Investigation Team as they are in Last Symphony proper, but still close.**

 _ **2\. Hold on, Mistuo committed suicide in this world?**_

 **I mean, look at his home life. We all know in the game that he was pretty messed up, that wasn't going to change here. I thought about it for a while, and there were a lot of ways I could go with it. I could have not mentioned him at all but at the same time I wanted to give a reason as to why Naoto was still in town and not running off on some investigation elsewhere. And it made a lot of sense to me. Mitsuo is a character that could literally go in a lot of directions. Without proper help he could become a criminal, either a danger to others but what made more sense to me was him becoming a danger to himself. Constant rejection and no one getting him the help he needed. It is a bit depressing but I also felt it was a point to have before Rise learns about Kayane's past in the Christmas story.**

 _ **3\. Are anxiety attacks really that bad?**_

 **I mean bad enough to make you fall down a flight of stairs? Yeah, for sure. More than that? Well nothing is impossible. And Kayane floats between bad anxiety attacks and suffering from PTSD due to his abuse as a kid and the death of his childhood friend. It is a combination of different things that just continues to snowball down a very large hill. Well I don't go too much into it for the sake of this story.**

 _ **4\. So what's the plan for 2018?**_

 **I'm hoping to finish Last Symphony soon. How soon? I dunno. But we are entering the last arc of the story. I'm hoping to show a couple more surprises after that.**

 _ **5\. What happened to Momento Reliquum? The sequel to Momento Umbrae...**_

 **Okay, first of all, that story still does exist. And I am going to get to it. However, the last half of Last Symphony does have some important to that story. And the reason for that is... well I don't want to spoil it. I will give a hint though. Momento Reliquum will follow a similar structure to Momento Umbrae. And if you remember that story happened in two different time periods, something like that will happen there. And some obvious parallels to the two stories are in place. I'm not sure when that will come, but it will be after Last Symphony is complete. In the interest of wanting to give my readers the full view before starting that story it is on ice for just a bit longer (though to be honest I still write in it when inspiration strikes me.)**

 ** _6\. Anything else?_**

 **There might be something else coming to that is Persona related that I haven't posted yet. But I think that will all have to wait for Last Symphony to finish. I still feel bad for not having any consistent chapters recently. I've been working a lot of overtime at my job so time to write has been somewhat scarce. And my focus when I do have it has been somewhat split thanks to some drama in my personal life.**

 **Alright, I'll stop with the rambling here. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed Last Symphony AU: A Christmas Concert. I had a lot of fun writing it, and its fun that the ending for this ends in a high note. Well, we all know if the proper Last Symphony story has anything to say that this version of Kayane and Rise will still have to face a lot to find happiness. But for now I'll be turning my eyes back to the story proper.**

 **I'm planning to get back to some regular postings so we can finish Last Symphony. Wish me luck and Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and I'll see all of you in the New Year ahead of us!**


End file.
